Find My Way To You
by TcEm
Summary: Ginny and Sirius have been keeping their relationship a secret from their families and friends but things are going to change as they decide the world isn't going to tear them apart any more. Bad Summary huh? Harry P. DOnt belong to me. DISCLAIMER!
1. Bare Proposal

They should have cared more, they should have made up their minds and stayed the hell away from eachother, they should have known better. But they were still there entangled in his sheets holding eachother after making love in his bedroom like they did everyday since school had started. Ginny Weasley lay in bed with the once infamous Sirius Black and even though she felt like the world was against her and that a love like theirs would be frowned upon and scrutnized by everyone who laid their eyes on them, the moment was perfect. The sun shined through the window beside his bed and as the last rays started to dissapear at the moment nothing could have felt more right. Sirius cast her a sideway glance, smiled in that crooked kind of way that made her tingle all over and looked back at the cathedral ceilings.

" You wanna know something?"

She studied his face with a grin and after taking a mental snapshot of the side of him that not many were allowed to see she awnsered " You grew a third testicle?"

" Your woman's intuition is failing you woman" he chuckled. " I need to ask you something but before I do make me a HUGE favor."

" ..and what exactly would that be?"

" Get me my pants would you."

"You cant be serious you lazy arse" Ginny laughed fake outrage lacing her words.

"Oh I am oh so very Sirius. The one and only in fact. In the flesh."

" Dont get all high and mighty on yourself" she mocked and threw his pants at him from across the room. " there you go your majesty" she replied but when she turned around he was no longer on the bed.

" Ginny..." She turned and was stunned to see him kneeling on the ground bare to the world with a box in his hand.

"Ginny will you make me...th."

YOU ARE SO NOT PROPOSING TO ME ASS NAKED ARE YOU!

"I'm convinced you'll be more persuaded to say yes if you saw all I have to offer up front." he said as he coyly smiled raising his eyebrow in a suggestive manner.

"Sirius" Ginny cried out laughing hystericlly but she stopped as soon as he took her hand in his got up and kissed her hard and heavy on the mouth. He placed his brow upon hers and looking into her eyes he smiled softly and the look in his eyes was one that took the breath from her the very life and soul from her body. She held her breath as in the lightest whisper he asked...no demmanded.

"Ginny. Marry me"

"...yes..yeah...ok I ..."

She struggled to find the words to say, to even look into his eyes. And finally in a whisper lower than even his she breathed the words she and him had yet to share.

"I love you."

Looking down at her he took the ring from the box and slid it gently and slowly into her finger.

" I know I should say something manly like " I know" or " hasta la vista baby" but ...fuck gin."

" I fucking love you"

She smiled up at him and laughed while tears streamed unrelentlessly down her eyes. That was the perfect way to say it...the only way she knew Sirius would.

So there they stood nude and in love. To be married and finally tell the world that Ginny Weasley and Sirius Black were going to be happy whether they approved or not. And as Sirius so kindly put it once. They could all go fuck themselves.


	2. Discussing How to Survive

Chapter 2

" I dont know how the hell Ima tell my mom Luna shes gonna have my head on a silver platter for this. Or she'll go all Micheal Myers on Sirius and wont die until she kills us both. Even an Avada Kadava couldn't keep her down UGH"

Luna stared at the cracked ceiling and looked down at her with her permanantly glazed over look and sat down.

"Oh it wont be that bad. I mean she cant exactly stop you from being in love now can she? Well unless she unleashes a hord of gnarkles on you, then I suppose it would be a different story wouldnt it? " She replied her voice low and sweet and always questioning things Ginny had no idea about.

" Luna"

"yes."

"tell me something...what are you smoking and can I have some of that ?"

" wah" she said genuine confusion and innocence written all over.

" NEVERMIND "Ginny just smiled and shouted out loud " IM GETTING MARRIED!"

" Your not keeping this secret very well are you" Luna chucked and asked excitedly " will I be invited to your wedding wont I? , oh it will be so marvelous to see you all dressed in white and about to marry an ex con "

" OF COURSE LUNA!"

" actually I ...well I was going to ask you to be my maid of honor. Would you like to help me find a dress and hold my mom back while she tries to tear me limb from limb oh and calm me down when I cant handle the stress and hold my bouquet while you stand next to me at the isle and hold my dress up while I pee an..." Luna cut her off by launching herself onto her laughing and crying and showing more emotion than she'd ever seen the tiny blonde to have.

" Ginny I'd love to , you have no idea " She smiled big and bright with tearing eyes as both girls embraced on ginny's four poster.

" ok well plan number uno...how to not die when I tell my mom? ...gah planning a wedding is gonna be hard when no one approves of it" Ginny said the last part reflecting a hint of sadness in her voice.

" Dont worry gin...We'll get through this you'll see." Ginny took one look at Luna and her certainty gave her the last bit of hope and push she needed to make her mind up.

"Ok then to the Burrow this weekend...prepare the funeral pyre!"

" Lets do this! oh...Hey Ginny...who's Micheal Myers?"


	3. The Big Apple 3 AM

Chapter 3

The weekend was here...in fact Ginny stood next to Sirius and the golden trio...honestly why did everyone call them that that was so lame...why couldnt they be like the wonder twins or thundercats ...Mighty Morphin Power rangers Teenage Ninja Turtles...the big apple 3 am.

" Ginny" Sirius waved a hand in front of her face" what's so damn entertaining you keep making all these faces"

" I was deeply contemplating the struggles of modern day war fare and slowly unraveling the meaning of life...until you rudely interupted and stopped my train of thought...now Ghandi will have to wait even longer for my owl with awsome mantras.."

" Gin, dear, your rambling again...where you making up names for the guys again?"

" How do you do that honestly stay out of my precious brain you old bag of bones" she joked and he let out a loud and definate Sirius bark of laughter.

He took her hand for just a moment while the trio wasn't looking and ways out of earshot and pressed her palm against his lips.

" Im going to make you mine forever Ginny."

She blushed as he let go and didnt miss the gentle stroke he gave her engagement ring. No one in the world would ever get her the way Sirius did...no would could ever GET TO here as well as he did, no one made her laugh or smile or cry or feel more that Sirius did. She didnt care that he was much older than her, or that he was a professor, she didnt care anymore about any of those things. She WAS going to marry Sirius and her mom would just have to deal with it she thought. But as the door to the burrow flew open and her mother buried everyone with hugs and kisses and senseless chatter she got so nervous that when her mom came by she proclaimed Ginny deathly sick and pale and forced her into the burrow and into the couch.

With in seconds she had an ice bag to her head a blacket draped on her like a tarp and a thermometer in her mouth.

" Nervous?" 

Sirius said smiling as he sat down on the couch next to her.

" how can you remain so calm when that woman is going to be deciding your fate in a couple of hours.? Honestly Sirius have you no fear of death?"

"I've died once and I came back didnt I ?" he laughed but it was a bad joke and when he saw her face he stroked her face after looking round the room.

" Ginny we've been over this...love has a way of putting things into place of making all the puzzel pieces fit...Gin..no matter what I will always find my way back to you...always."

" I would follow you all the way into the dark" he said grasping her hands in his.

" I love you gin.."

Just as he leaned in for a swift kiss when her mother busted in through the door merry and loud!

Sirius paniked , tripped over his own legs and fell to the floor with a thud.

" Sirius what on earth are you doing on the ground"

" Im looking for my...um ...shoe..." Ginny chuckled and said.

" why it's on your foot Sirius how could you forget ?"

" oh yes Ginny thank you for being so observant..." he replied sheepishly " well my good ladies now that I have found my long lost shoe I think I'll take a stroll around the garden ...adiu."

" that Sirius has got a couple screws loose up in that head of his that he does" said Ginnys Mom.

" Mum...do you like Sirius?"

"of course I do pumpkin whats not to like about a imature sarcastic and utterly unbarable man?"

Ginny felt a knot form in her throat and awkwardly looked around the room for any sharp objects.

" Hey Mum would you happen to know a micheal myers and if you do are you of any realtion? ...Does Freddy Kruger ring a bell? "


	4. Impending Doom oh

Authors Note: I do not own Harry Potter ...I forgot to mention that...I dont own Sirius as much Id love to and about the only thing I do own is a taxidermied squirrel that holds my movie ticket stubs so there you go...REVIEW PEOPLE REVIEW how am I supposed to know if people like this if no one shares some love with poor lil ole me. WELL ENJOY

Chapter 4

"Well that wasnt so bad now was it?"

"THEY KICKED ME OUT SIRIUS! Harry actually punched you in the face"

"Well your dad took it relativly well, the twins and him actually shook my hand and patted my back before we left. " Sirius said as they walked through Diagon Alley.

"SIRIUS I HAVE NO WHERE TO GO!"

"Ginny you know perfectly well you can live with me." he replied with a smile on his face despite the obvious stares that they were both getting.

" Well thats all fine and good but theres one little problem.."

" And what would that be?"

" You're a freeloading old fart who lives at Hogwarts all year round, and who stays at the Burrow when we're on vacation"

" You forget Im a professor Mrs. Soon to be Sirius Black. If you really want to get a place there are plenty of flats in London we can rent while Hogwarts is out."

Ginny looked up at him and smiled " wow Sirius for once in your life your actually making sense."

He put his leg up on a box laying precariously on the road and put his arms on his waist looking up at the sky and coyly responded " yeah ..I am amazing."

"No apparently your Captain Morgan."

"Honestly Ginny you have got to stop watching so much Muggle television with Hermionie."

They walked on took the Floo network from one of the shops into Hogwarts. Into the headmasters office.

" Honestly Sirius why do you insist on bothering the man when he's got so much to do?"

She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes when both men met eachother across the room with a hug and filled with pats on the back and elated cries of Congradulations.

Remus walked up to her and caught her in a tight embrace "So your the one whos finally taking the notorious bachlor off the market huh?"

" He only stayed on the market because people were so convinced you two were an item..after that display of affection Im beggining to question it myself" she joked hugging him back.

Ginny and Remus had become close friends since she started dating Sirius the only people who knew about their relationship before was Luna Neville and himself. Becoming Headmaster Lupin gave Sirius plenty of perks, like being able to live on the campus and get the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts despite having been incarcerated in Azkaban.

" Sirius Black getting married. Still hard to believe Padfoot."

" Says the best man." Sirius replied and as the words reached Lupin his eyes widened with the realization.

" this is how you're asking me you old hag ..." Remus replied punching Sirius in the arm.

" Oh Sirius has the most inconvinent and absurd ways of asking for things" Ginny laughed.

" So I've heard...how exactly did the whole asking your family go?"

" Have you ever heard of the Muggle Spanish Inquisition? Well lets just say Voldemort could have been standing right in the middle of my mum's yelling and discreetly ask to be excused."

" Well it went like this..."

Authors Note: To be Continued ohhhhooohhhh


	5. I Bid You Adiu

Chapter 5

Ginny and Sirius sat at the dinner table and as the whole room was filled with talk Ginny grew more and more nausous by the second. She looked at her father who was deep in conversation with Hermionie about the properties of the microwave when she felt a hand on her thigh. At first she smiled a bit happy to have the bit of reasurance she needed, that is until she realized that the hand currently on her was NOT Siriuses.

She looked down at the hand and followed the arm up all the way to none other than Harry Potters face. He was looking away talking to Ron but for the life of her she couldn't make out the words that were being passed on. She tugged on Sirius's sleeve and hinted it out. He gripped his fork so hard it snapped in half and a restrained scowl formed on his.

" What's wrong mate you look a tad out of it, did Ginny get you sick?" asked Fred who sat infront of Sirius.

" im...constipated...mentally that is."

" That happens alot to me you know." Ron said from Harry's side..." I tend to drift off and forget what I was...wait what was I just saying?"

Thanks to Ron's distraction Sirius was off the hook and Ginny stood up and went into the kitchen while unnoticed and signaled Sirius to do the same.

" I dont know where that came from" Ginny said as she leaned against the counter.

" We've got to tell them...now Ginny we cant let it go on like this anymore. Im not gonna let my own godson fall for you when we're about to get married."

" Sirius..." Ginny started and shuddered a bit " what...what happens if they say no...what happens if my family turns their backs on us and ...what would we do?"

He looked into her eyes a thoughtful look in his face but he relaxed and smiled that same old cocky way.

" We get married anyways..."

Ginny's face dropped clearly hoping that wasn't all he would say. He knew having her family at their wedding meant alot to her.

" Dont worry Gin, even if they say no...they'll come around."

End of Flashback

" So what happened? " Remus asked.

" They said no " Ginny said with a laugh.

" Well you dont look horribly devastated" Remus said as he looked at Sirius clearly asking for his imput.

" Arthur and the boys looked alright with it hell Arthur even told us congradulations as we left."

" Got kicked out is more like it" Ginny shrugged." " which is why we're here. Do you mind if we stay here while we find a place?"

" Course not, make your selves at home "

"Padfoot one question though...whats with the shiner youve got on your face?"

"Harry wasnt too happy with me Moony...nope not happy at all, he was not a happy camper that one."

" So he wasn't happy" Remus replied mockingly.

"Not at all." Ginny chuckled as sleep slowly started taking hold of her. " sorry its been a long day"

"Go ahead and go get some rest, I'll try to get an Owl to Molly to let her know your all right"

"as if she wants to know. I swore I saw her muttering obsenities to herself as we left."

" But wait how did you actually tell them?"

Ginny looked at Sirius with glaring eyes. " He walked straight up to my mom and dad cleared his throat and said..Im going to marry your daughter, I bid you adiu." and then walked away. He just walked right back to me and showed my ring to everyone."

" and what happened?" Remus asked

"My mum turned several shades of red, maybe even blue and purple and then yelled out " HAVE YOU GONE MAD, THE MAN IS AN UTTER LUNATIC?" After that its all a big blur a very big very violent and possibly bloody blur."

" well good night moony" she yawned out..and with a sacrasitic grin she let out" I bid you adiu"


	6. Twilight Reference What?

Authors Note...Does anyone think this is any good...I honestly want to know...cuz im writing and what if you all think Im like the worlds lamest writer...and I should be lynched because of my literary inadequesy ...so yes ...review..if you review other people might think its good and read this and then they'll review and then Ill feel loved and write more and not be up till 4 in the morning for no good reason...im ranting again arent I ? well here we go...BON APPETITE

chapter 6

By the time school was underway Sirius and Ginny had been renting a flat in London and despite Ginny's mom still not coming around the rest of the Order was happy for them. In fact they were still sending home warming presents.

" Ginny someone sent us some kind of muggle contraption I'm not sure what it does but I think its got some malignant curse on it, Its got flames coming out of it and lightning coming from within " Sirius yelled out from across the room.

" Sirius thats a toaster and you've just burnt my toast." He looked at it with a sneer as if willing it to explode with his eyes. She hit him on the arm and as he paid her his full attention he launched her over his shoulder despite her cry of outrage and threw her onto the couch.

" Has anyone ever loved someone as much as I love you?" he asked kissing her shoulder and resting his head in the crook of her neck.

" Romeo and Juliet...Heathcliff and Cathy..fat kids and cake...zombies and brains...teenage boys and their right hands..."

" Touche. Point well made my little protege I swear I think I've bad influence on you my dear...:"

" Padfoot you silly old dog.."

" Whats with all the old comments as of late, I feel like the crypt keeper, your words they taunt me...they wound me" he cried dramaticly laying down next to her on the couch and smiling dazed and confused.

She chuckled a bit and then finally asked the question she was a little reluctant to ask..." Hows Harry?"

Ever since the incident he had yet to respond to a single owl she had sent and the only news she'd heard was the constant rumors that filled the common room.

" What exactly do people say about us?"

"oh you know the usual " Did you hear how that weasley girl dumped Harry Potter for Professor Black shes such a whore , I hear she slept with the whole quiddich team yeah oh but shes so lucky to have the chosen one and a professor fighting over her...what a hoe" and I shit you not they've even started wearing team Potter and team Black shirts..." she said making her voice loud and squeaky to mock them. He laughed at the antic but she could see that the inital question still bothered him.

" Did you go see him today?"

He stared intently at the ceiling as he awnsered " yeah, he said some really bad things..."

" Like what?" she said almost a little afraid to ask.

" the same old shit...he said I was old enough to be your father...and he blamed me for being a bad godfather...said James would have been upset and dissapointed at how I've taken care of him..."

Ginny couldnt believe what she was hearing " YOU CANT BE SERIOUS ! WHAT RIGHT DOES HE HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT ...JUST...JUST BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND...I MEAN COME ON HE IGNORES ME AND DATES OTHER PEOPLE AND JUST AS I FIND THE ONE PERSON THAT MAKES ME THE HAPPIEST WOMAN ON EARTH HE DECIDES THAT IM ALL THAT HE NEEDS ! NO NO NO HE CANT BE SERIOUS !"

" Hes not...Sirius I mean ..I am I mean honestly woman have you not known who I am this entire time."

" That joke is getting so old you know" she said letting out one single desperate laugh.

" There you go with the old jokes again."

" I said the joke was old not you , you old fart."

" I swear you all make me feel like Im decomposing before your very eyes."

She went from pacing the room to laughing in his arms..." honestly your too good of a man...did you even say anything back to him..."

"Nah...he's a big boy ...once he stops his self pity he'll come around. Just like your mom. Just like the rest of the world."

Kissing him once she stood up and grabbed her bag.

" where are you going..I've got class I gotta go luv...I'll meet up with you at the end of the day at your classroom ok?"

" yeah ok..." he replied from the couch as she was just about to use the floo..." hey gin.."

"Yeah..."

" you should totally wear one of those Team Black shirts."

authors note...Do YOU LIKE IT THEN REVIEW EVEN IF ITS ANONYMOUS hypo hypo nononamus...big daddy reference...yup


	7. Strange Encounters of the Third Kind

Authors Note: I do not own the Harry Potter Franchise...If i did I would live in scotland ..in a castle and have more money than the Queen of England...unfortuantly I dont..so I live in Las Milpas ...in the Rio Grande Valley where its hot enough to wish you could walk around naked. Hooray for nudists...well go on...start reading ...oh and review...cant you see ive got not one single revieew...gah

Chapter 7

The whole day was filled with people sneering at her and making rude gestures but then again for every jealous lousy girl that bumped against her in the corridor there was a good friend to stand up for her despite her objection to starting anything.

Like the way Luna actually transfigured a girl into a dodo for calling Ginny a whore at dinner. Or how Hanna Abbot actually told a girl off for spilling ink on Ginnys parchment both got detentions but they assured her that it was worth it just to put those girls in their place. Even Neville told off a slytherin when he asked her for some um...lets just say favors.

She was so caught up in the days events that half way to the DADA classroom she didnt even notice when harry pulled her aside and into an empty classroom.

" Harry what are you doing" she cried out rubbing her arm where he had taken hold of her.

" No Ginny what the hell do you think you're doing huh? HES MY GODFATHER...Hes a professor...hes a million years older than you..!"

" Only in dog years" she let out in a meak little way.

" What you think that its funny"

_Sirius would have _, She thought.

"Harry look I dont have to explain anything to you but seeing as Sirius is the one that actually cares what you think Im going to explain it anyways...I am in love Harry...I happen to be in love with your godfather...He happens to be a professor...and he happens to love me back. Why cant you understand that? "

" Because I love you Ginny...I love you and its right, its legal, and it makes sense." He cried out his hands flying about in exasperation.

" Harry we had our chance. We dated remember. YOU broke up with ME! Dont you remember telling me how you needed space and that I was too obsessed with you, that I came off to strong...dont you remember how you ignored me for weeks on end, how you made everyone think I was some love sick puppy for actually trying to make it work. I BEGGED you for a second chance Harry I BEGGED. "

He looked at the floor and I could see shame in his eyes and maybe even a little sense peeking through but they went right back to ignorant and he started to yell " HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WITH HIM HUH ! YOU PROBABLY USED TO FUCK HIM WHEN WE BROKE UP ! DIDNT EVEN WANT TO WAIT A WHILE ! ALL THOSE GIRLS ARE RIGHT YOU ARE A WHORE AND EVEN THOUGH HE TELLS YOU HE LOVES YOU HE KNOWS YOUR NOTHING BUT MY DIRTY SECONDS!

She was about to slap him across the face when all of a sudden he was thrown back into a pile of books that lay on the floor.

" Sirius" Ginny let out in a whisper.

" Ginny lets go..."

" but wait...Siri"

" No Ginny look he can tell me what ever he damn well pleases, he can insult me, degrade me, and make me feel like the worst man alive...but you he owes you more than that, you were the one to pick him up when he was down, the one he used to feel better about himself, and when he was done with you he just left you there broken and I was the one to pick up the pieces."

He looked at Harry and continued" You don't know how much you hurt her when you broke up Harry, you didn't stick around to see her crying every night and wince whenever you would flaunt away any of the girls you brought around her, you left her for the taking Harry. She loves me because I cared enough about her to want to make her smile and spend time with her when she was alone. Harry you lost...I won...thats the end of it." with that he took her hand and lead her out the room.

" I had no idea you actually knew about that...about how I...how alone I felt.." Ginny whispered as he prepared the Floo.

" Ginny you saved me from myself, when I had nothing to believe in you gave me faith. I could only hope I've done the same for you" He replied looking away into the green flames.

She just smiled and took his hand..."You did way more than that Sirius.."

"oh...and what exactly did I do" He smiled.

"You just took on the chosen one and won"

" Damn I did didn't I? "

" Yup ...must be the third testicle."

Authors Note...Im running out of Ideas ...review and share yours heh heh or not :] PRAISE ME! lol jk


	8. High as a Kite

Authors Note: Im writing this story and I think Im doing a good job so I'll try to keep it going...I hope you guys dont mind that its pretty uneventful...but well its progressing at a snails pace...but um I hope ur enjoying reading it as much as Im enjoying writing it...So yeah I dont own HP god doesnt love me enough for that lol ENJOY

Chapter 8

Luna and Ginny sat in the Griffindor commonroom gossiping on what she'd heard Harry say to Hermionie earlier that day" He told her you were completely of the bend...absolutely bonkers he put it...Yup, said that you tried to put the moves on him and when Sirius came in turned the whole story around..I dont know if he was just making it up or if he actually is delusional enough to actually believe that"

" Wow that is absurd...that chap needs some electro therapy."

" Im sure the gnrakles are feeding on his brain right now..."

" I CANT BELIEVE HERMIONIE DIDNT DEFEND ME THAT TRAITOR!"

Luna laughed quietly and ruffled through some more eccentric wedding dresses in the catalog. " Has your mum made an effort to talk to you yet"

" yeah actually she sent me a letter this morning saying she wants to have brunch...Im a little more than afraid shes poisoned my tea and plans on buring me under her petunias."

"oh no! The gnome garden is much better this time of year" she cried out real outrage in her demeanor.

A couple of griffindor girls walked by at the moment and coughed out a " Freaks"

" I swear sometimes I think im going to go trigger happy up in this joint" Ginny cried out while sitting on the floor and Luna on the couch.

" You want a joint? "

"Luna what?" Ginny laughed.

"You know what Luna ...I once read in a book a quote that really reminds me of us..."

Luna cocked her head to the left and softly asked" What is it"

" I am a bad ass and I recognize that you too are a badass."

"I have one that reminds me of us too...it goes " And there I was spitting on my goldfish trying to keep it alive" Ginny laughed out loud at the horribly plagarized jokes.

" You know what Luna You are absolutely fucking crazy..."

" thank you...so are you."

"Well I gotta head over to my mothers but ima visit Sirius first I'll see you tomorrow " Ginny said giving her best friend a hug.

" ok but your missing out on the joint " Luna called back and Ginny stopped to wonder if she really kidding as Luna started to sing Roll Another Joint by Tom Petty.

" Talk to that girl when you're feeling low and she is bound to get you high" Ginny joked as she walked out the portrait hole and started heading twoards Sirius classroom.


	9. Brunch With A Chinese Fireball

Chapter 9

She walked in while he was teaching and sat down in one of the empty seats. He went on about like she wasnt even there and as the class ended he sat down across from her in an empy table.

" Guess what"

" Professor Flitchwick ran around naked again ?"

" as arousing as you would find that no...Harry sent me an owl this morning."

" Oh yeah wat that bag of douche say?"

" that bag of douche as you call it apologized...apartently Hermionie had a talk with him."

Ginny cocked her head to the left and laughed " wow haha ok well then I guess I take back the whole Hermionie is a blood thirsty traitor comment back"

"Blood thirsty?"

"well not exactly but it just adds such a dramatic ring to it does it not?"

" well point is before you take me off the topic again, he has sent me a 5 page letter apologizing over and over again. ...See I told you he'd come around hes a smart kid"

" if by smart you mean mentally challenged and simple minded then yes...yes he is smart."

" Now Gin dont get so butthurt he didnt mean all that he said ...he just had a broken heart...look here read it yourself" He said giving her the letter and pointing out where to read.

" I didnt mean what I said I just had a broken heart." Ah yes that is completely heart felt and full of sentimental meaning.

He just ruffled her head and she glared at him behind the messy hair he left behind.

"Sirius you do realize I am not a dog right? Every time you ruffle my hair I walk out looking like some very non educational things have happened in this classroom."

" Oh I believe that anything that I do concerning that could be considered and completly used for educational purposes." he laughed out wiggling an eyebrow.

" You pervy old man" she cried hugging him tight from across the table.

" Careful you might break me in half with that amazonian streanth of yours."

"Well I'm starting to wish I did have amazonian streanth ...Im meeting my mom for brunch...gosh..I hate that word...brunch. "

" Hey maybe MARVELOUS THINGS WILL HAPPEN! " he barked.

Brunch at the Hogshead

"so why are we having brunch...here?" Ginny asked looking around suspisously

" SO no one can know my daughter is the hussy who's sleeping with a man twice her age." her mother cried out dressed with sunglasses and a bandana.

" Honestly mum who do you think your fooling with that disguise ...You look like Thelma and Louise." Ginny replied rolling her eyes at her mother as she looked around the room nervously.

" Ginny I implore you to end this relationship now...he is to old for you...he... he... well hes just plain unbarable."

" MOTHER ! That is no way to talk about your soon to be son in law..." Ginny smirked confident that her mother's conviction was wavering.

" OH GINNY" she cried latching on to her and stopping the circulation in her arms." I JUST CANT BELIEVE MY BABY IS GETTING MARRIED!"

" So you're ok with me and Sirius ?"

" Well it's not like a have a choice...you're getting married I like it or not and Sirius is a..."

" an amazing spectacular and should I dare say Orgasmic man?" Sirius said suprising us both as he sat next to me.

" OH SIRIUS YOU OLD DOG YOU !" Ginnys mother cried as she shifted herself to hug him. " You are so wrong for my daughter but if she says that you love her..then...well then welcome to my family."

Sirius who was two feet taller than the woman hugged her tenderly back and smiled.

" See Ginny I told you she wasnt going to resemble a Chinesse Fireball on crack"

" GINERVA!"


	10. Pinapple nonExpress

Chapter 10

" Dinner with my parents...are you ready to go?" Ginny asked fixing her hair into a loose ponytail. " Sirius?"

" My names Black...Sirius Black" He replied leaning against the door frame. He wore a black suit and a loose button up shirt with no tie...he flashed a smile that showed his canines and his eyes looked predatory behind his dark hair.

" Well well well what do we have here.." Sirius joked as he sauntered over to where she was and even though he was just fooling around it made her blush and give a sharp intake of breath as he took her in his arms suddenly and placed a kiss on her neck.

" I Vant To Suck..Y"

" AND YOU DO ! Ginny laughed breaking out of his embrace and straightening his suit.".where is that tie I bought you ?"

" That thing feels just like a collar, there is no way I am wearing it...and just what color did you get it Vomit Green" Sirius joked as he sat back on the bed ...

"Sirius its eggplant...it is no where near Vomit Green."

" I hope your sense of fashion and the fact that your completely color blind doesnt affect your wedding dress a picking" he joked laying on the bed and making his hair curl at the ends.

" Im wearing a dress made completely out of peacock feathers...I find it rather...traditional."

He just smiled to himself and covered his eyes with his arm. 

" Must we do this ? As if the last family dinner went over so well."

" Its our big chance to get this right Sirius ...there are plans to be made...I already planned a day fully devoted to picking a wedding dress with the girls " Ginny smiled. " it'll be perfect."

" trying on dress after dress and getting angry about each and everyone of them for making you look fat is definatly the way to spend your saturday...yeah sounds absolutly thrilling."

She jumped on the bed next to him and smacked him in the chest..." Ow"

" Sirius tell me when you fell in love with me" Ginny asked laying down and putting her head on his looked up at the ceiling and smiled softly. " It was...when Harry broke up with you..well a little before. You were in your bedroom all day ..working on a ring for him, you asked me to help you with it ..you remember?" he asked turning to look at her. " You looked so happy when we finally finished the inscription...I've never seen anyone look so beautiful...for that moment...I was jealous of another man for the first time. You waited all morning for him and asked him to go outside with you, I wanted to see what he would say but I couldnt get myself to look at you...I felt wrong for ..well for feeling anything at all."

" but..." Ginny started but Sirius cut her off and kissed her passionatly. She looked up into his dark grey eyes storming behind his dark locks but he looked away from her. 

" Well lets go love we are going to be late to my funeral."

DINNER

" Ginny, Sirius welcome welcome come out back we have everything ready." said Molly as she opened the door to see a smiling Ginny and Sirius clutching onto the door frame...still with no tie.

Everyone was there the trio, and the twins, Charlie, Bill and Fleur. The backyard was filled with white lights and a tent was set up white and thin enough to see the stars through.

At first it was awkward that is until the twins went up to Sirius and started to joke around.

" Ey Siri...how dare you wanna marry our lil sis..."

" Dont you know shes got cooties.."

" Not to mention an insane phobia of "

" Pinnaples"

"Pineapples?" Sirius asked his eyebrow arched in a questioning fashion.

" YEAH PINAPPLES!" they cried in unison.

" Ron gave her some when she was little despite the fact he knew she was allergic." Molly explained. " Poor thing spent 3 weeks in St. Mungos. She assosiates pinapples with pain for some strange reason."

" Pinapples ?" Sirius asked turning to look at Ginny.

"Yup" Ginny replied popping the p in yup..." Stupid ass pinapples."


	11. Wicked Game

AUTHORS NOTE: Short chappie I know but well...no review love jk jk I just felt it was short sweet and to the point ..I ll keep posting at a steady rate hopefully or at least Ill try to I just happen to get ideas everyonce in a blue moon ...so yeah be gentle with me people I have NEVER written a fan fic.

Chapter 11

It had been a crazy night and though at first it was strange to see her family accept Sirius as her fiance it was comforting that things were starting to settle into the comfterable fact that they were to be married by the end of the month at Hogwarts with some strings pulled on Sirius's part. The trio had all joined in on the fun and Harry even pulled Ginny aside to apologize personally. It was then that Hermionie and a blushing Ron admitted that they planned to wed next year. Ginnys mum fainted of joy. All the weasleys except the casanova of Charlie were married or about to be.

"You never finished telling me the ending to your story..." Ginny asked when they got home. Sirius sighed and looking down let a sad chuckle vibrate through his sillouhette

" You ran outside and cried ginny you cried for hours...and when you couldnt cry anymore you just sat there with your head on your knees. Right there in the middle of your mothers gnome garden. Then...You just wiped away your tears and came back inside Gin. You came inside and sat down in front of me as if Harry was the last thing in your mind...and you know what you did that made me love you Ginny the thing that to this day makes me hold my breath ...you came and sat infront of me and you made me laugh. You made me laugh like I hadnt in years, as if there was nothing wrong with you, as if I hadnt watched you break apart in silence. You are a brave beautiful and amazing girl Ginny. I have never loved the way I love you, never in my entire being had I ever wanted to protect someone with the will that I did you. " Sirius said taking off his suit and shirt leaving him in a white muscle shirt.

He let out a single bark of laughter and said..." I love your laugh Ginny...I love you because no one can sound that happy when their broken inside...I just love your laugh." Sirius stated lamely.

Ginny stood there bewildered and unknowingly shedding tears..." You are the reason I live Sirius..the reason I wake up each morning , the reason I BREATHE. " She stated.

" You know breathing comes naturally I wont pretened to take credit of that " he let out finally unbuckling his pants and leting them fall to the floor with a wicked grin.

She stood there captivated by the sight of him his smoldering with love and utter devotion.

She knew that no one had ever made her feel this way, no BOY could ever have compared to this MAN. He was brash and careful and sarcastic and thoughtful and absolutely insane and rational and cocky and self assured and everything that there was that made sense in the world and the utterly ridiculous.

" Your telling me that I have loved you up to the point of insanity and the reason you love me is because of my LAUGH! My stupid cackle that sounds like a hyenna on SPEED!" She managed to choke out.

He walked up to her and took her by the arms..." I especially love it when you snort." he said as he pressed his lips against her and tossed her on the bed.

AUTHORS NOTE : You guys know what happens next...use your imagination boys and girls.


	12. You Sly Dog

Chapter 12

"SO...exactly what are you girls looking for " asked the dress attendant at a the local bridal shop in diagon alley.

"Wedding dresses of course" luna replied cocking her head to the left in that odd manner that she always did when pointing out the ovious and the absurd." We are in a bridal store arent we..I got lost on the way here.

" But you flooed in" the attendant asked and Luna looked at her with a little smile " I did didnt I huh?"

" Thanks for brining me along Ginny, you know this is supposed to be about you..." said Hermionie looking around feeling out of place in the dress shop.

" Oh Hermionie your like one of my sisters ..you know the almost blood thristy traitor kind."

" Im sorry I didnt catch the end of that, what did you say Gin"

" I said the good looking party kind thats what I said YEAH" said ginny pumping her fist in the air and looking at Luna who was smiling to herself as she looked at an outlandish green bridesmaid dress that looked like the middleground for a ufo and a circus tent.

" Well thank you anyways, I didnt want you to think that I was being a horrible friend for not defending you as much with Harry...the idea of you and Sirius it caught me off guard ...but I understand what it means to be in love with an older man." Hermionie replied blushing crimson.

" HERMIONIE YOU SLY DOG! " Ginny replied hanging onto Lunas shoulder and looking as shocked as she did the first time that she saw professsor flitchwick runnng around naked down the halls of Hogwarts,with Professor Mcgonagall chasing after him.

" It was infatuation rr.. I just well, he was just so wise and interesting and had an endless amount of knowledge that I could only fathom" Hermionie went on getting redder and redder.

" WELL?' Ginny and Luna both asked expectantly.

" Well what...I just said I understood what it was to be ..well you know with an older man." She said looking down and playinng with the fringe of a dress.

" WHO IS IT HERMIONIE!"

Hermionie turned velvet at the neck and started to babble on " itsnotimportant...hesamanofprinciple...itcouldntbehelped...ohpleasedont."

"HERMIONIE!"

" SNAPE OK IT WAS PROFESSOR SNAPE!"

Luna and Ginny's eyes went as wide as a doe and Ginny broke into uncontrollable laughter and clutched at her chest heaving for air.

" SNAPE GREASY CRAZY ABSOLUTELY DEMONIC SNAPE! THATS NOT LOVE THATS WELL ...WELL JUST PLAIN NAUSEATING! IMAGINE IF YOU HAD SEX IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS LITTLE THING WITH A SLIMY PALE BEAST ON TOP OF YOU! ITS NOT NATURAL! YOU HERMIONIE ARE NOW CLASSIFIED AS THE GIRL WHO LIVED...THE GIRL WHO LIVED THROUGH SEX WITH E.T. ! YOU MAKE STEPHEN KING PROUD HERMIONIE...IM MAILING HIM THIS RESEARCH RIGHT AWAY THE SHINING HAS GOT NOTHING ON THIS LITTLE TIDDBIT OF AN ATROSITY...I MEAN HE IS LIKE THE MOS..."

"HEWASHUGE!" Hermionie yelled startling Ginny mid rant and startling half the people there.

" I beg your...pardon " Luna asked looking a little green.

" He was...well proportioned...and well it was nice...he was very gentle and loving and well ugh I shouldnt be talking about this your my fiance's sister and well its just he was you know...great...amazing really " Hermionie replied practically having an asthma attack right there and then.

" That is way too much information..." Ginny started

" its sick and wrong and morally bankrupt..." said luna sitting down and looking even paler than usual.

" Its the reason puppies die and kitty's get AIDS...

" Why tornados blew dorthey from kansas and why Mcdonalds is allowed to make all muggles obese..."

" its why Proffessor Flitchwick runs around naked..."

" and why Mcgonagall secretly likes it.."

" ITS WHY GOD IS A MAN!"

" AND WHY TWINKIES JUST TASTE WAY BETTER FRIED!"

" Its...not...its just...well thats why Im marrying RON! " Hermionie said stomping her foot.

" Gah thank GOD FOR THAT!" Luna said glad the conversation was over.

" You know how is it any different from you and Sirius huh!" Hermionie relented embaressed.

" oh god no.." moaned out luna.

" He isnt a total git..only slightly...and tastefully"

" He is just as old as Severus.." Hermionie said with a pout.

" ewwwwwwwww for the love of God Hermionie dont call him that." Cried Ginny.

" well how is it any different?" She persisted

" Its not the age that bothers me Hermionie...if it was Remus it woulde be ok...that arithramy proffessor ok...HAGRID..PEEVES anyone but SNAPE...its like ...bleh...besides...Sirius isnt old...not in spirit anyways he is so alive...Snape is a walking bag of bones inside a leathery exterior...and dont even say he's got a good heart because well...he might have helped save the whole world but...yeah hes still a dick...hes like a shit covered lolipop that you licked to get to the inside only to find its more shit...yeah...thats how I feel Sirius is a top dog...and Snape is a dry old prune of a man who used to like Harrys mom. EW." Ginny replied repulsed

" You said it yourself...SIRIUS IS A DOG."

" And what is that supposed to mean huh...he may turn into a dog but he certainly isnt that kind of guy."

" He is Ginny ...this is what I didnt want to tell you but you just make me so mad...Severus is an amazing man."

" Geez Hermionie get your knickers in a bunch much...its the truth...Snape is icky and you are waaaaaay better with my brother I mean we're only joking ."

" GINNY...gahhh you dont know the first thing about me and Sevy...and trust me Sirius is a dog...hes a womanizer and he's going to use you and break your heart...sorry to tell you the truth"

" You sound like your talking from experience Hermionie.."

" I AM! Severus is an amazing man...but he used me all up and threw me away...and Sirius is going to do the same to you...and your going to love him all the while he's doing it...and even after...he will take the very life from your bones and you'll end up just like me...Ginny..." she sighed. and pinched the bridge of her nose." I still love him ginny...but Im not going to be this dead little thing anylonger...I am going to get married and live happy."

Ginny just stared at her realization written all over her face." You dont love my brother do you?"

" No but I will learn to...my heart is still Severus's but I cant live like this." She replied holding herself and forcing herself to stay somewhat calm.

" YOU CANT DO THAT TO RON!" Yelled Luna suddenly at Ginny's side and furious.

" YOU CANT DO THAT TO HIM...HE DESERVES BETTER...HE DESERVES SOMEONE WHO TRUELY LOVES HIM...NOT SOMEBODY BROKEN BY SOMEBODY ELSE...IF YOU CANT LOVE HIM NOW YOU NEVER WILL SO STOP WASTING HIS TIME!" She said as she walked away and took the floo home.

" She's right you know..."

" I know.." Hermionie sniffled..."She's in love with him." She went on "But Ron is my only chance at happiness."

"I know...but your not his...She is " Ginny said pointing at the spot where Luna just was.

" Its still true" Hermionie said her back to her.

" Sirius is going to break your heart."

" Only if I let him" Ginny said.

" Ginny...He is just an addition to your latest addiction.."

" what is that supposed to mean.."

" You'll figure it out." She said and walked out with out another word.


	13. All Work and No Play

Authors Note: I dont own HP...damn.

OH YEAH .. Got my first review from this wonderful Australianly AWSOME person only known to me as RoboticUrges KUDOS TO HER AND HER STELLARNESS...so yeah...there you go people ...I mean really its not to hard to go hey you...i like ur story...just like that ...so this story's to you my lone reader lol COME ON PEOPLE show some love for SIRIUS AND GINNY lol If you review I'll totally give u a cookie...metaphoricly that is... Well on we go ...

Chapter 13

" an addition to an addiction? ...damn if I know what she means." Ginny muttered to herself spawled on her couch in her flat.

" what who means?" Ginny turned her head in the direction of Sirius as he waltzed in dressed in a unbuttoned shirt and black slacks.

" arent you supposed to look all professional and wizardy?" Ginny asked eyebrows raised.

" arent you supposed to be naked or barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen?" Sirius said with a wicked grin on his face.

" Ouch I never took you for a sexist love."

" Hey its you women that keep calling me a dog" He cried squeezing himself onto the couch.

" what?" Ginny asked suddenly paranoid remembering the quarrel with Hermionie.

" A dog...you know ...bark bark...it was a joke..." when she didnt say anything he continued lamely" because Im an animagus..." Ginny smacked him on his arm.

"I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!" she let out.

" Ahhh...I see so I'm guessing the trip to the alley did you no good huh...I told you dress shopping was disasterous...I've seen people snap after their 20th try. So how many people did you take down...am I going to need to buy a shovel or a chainsaw?" He asked slightly teasing her while twirling one of her hair's curls in his hand.

" It was ...bleh."

" Bleh?"

" Absolutely freaking BLEH."

" Well in that case I might have to add a flamethrower to that list of things I dont really need to dispose of a human body."

Ginny put her head in her hands and contemplated telling Sirius what had happened between her and Hermionie but something inside her was holding her back. And for the first time since being with Sirius she was begining to doubt.

" So Im guessing Im not going to get the scoop am I ? " he asked still playing with her hair but averting his gaze. He looked slightly hurt but he concealed it well.

" Hermionie...she...she told us she had been with Snape." Ginny said choosing to partly tell the truth. She laughed out akwardly.

" SNAPE !" Sirius cried out taking the same coloring as Luna at the shop. " MERLINS BEARD NO WONDER YOU LOOK SICK THE VERY THOUGHT OF SUCH REVOLTING ACTS BEING MADE CAN DRIVE A SWEET ANGEL LIKE YOU INTO MADNESS! GAH I FEEL PHYSICALLY DIRTY AND I HAVENT EVEN DONE ANYTHING." He hugged her laughing all the while and his laughter was infectous and she broke into giggles all over again.

" If you only heard her feeble attempts as to why it was right ...gah she even compared him to you ...I NEARLY PUKED ON THE GOWNS." She said gasping for air.

" You should have puked on the gowns...it would have been completely understandable...it would have been the most sane thing that would have been done in that place."

" I am going to need a shower after this..."

" Is that an invitation...? " Sirius barked out attempting to ravage her as she held him back.

" Down you crazy lil mutt "

" Ahhh all work and no play makes Sirius a very dull boy..." He let out between kisses to her neck.

" Maybe later love." Ginny cried and made a run for the restroom.

He waited for the shower to start and the sound of curtains being drawn and with a kick the door he cried out " HERE'S SIRIUS!"

Luna's Apartment

" So how did things go with Sirius...did you tell him what Hermionie told you?"

She looked at Luna slightly ashamed, the girl always had her heart on her sleeves and here she was unable to tell her fiance' how she felt.

" Noooo...I couldnt do it...I tried Luna I really did but I felt like a cat with a hairball stuck in its throat...I let her get to me"

" I dont blame you. I dont usually get like that either. She has a way of getting under my skin, but I assume it's because of Ron."

" Luna if you love Ron you have to tell him. You are going to regret it for the rest of your life if you dont...just wondering about the what if's and realizing you didnt even put up a fight." Ginny said red in the face.

" Your so sweet Gin but Ron has loved Hermionie much longer than I've loved him..if he learns the truth about her...it will be like ripping out a dream. I love him too much to break his heart for her."

Ginny's eyes were tearing and she felt the knot in her throat get tighter. " Luna ...you...you ...have to fight..dont you understand that life is too short to not live it...to not do what it is you really want...its too short to give up on love. You cant. I refuse to let you. Hermionie is NEVER going to love him...she will never understand him...not the way you do Luna.

The younger girl looked at Ginny with sad sad eyes, eyes that in her lifetime had never been seemed so desperatly tragic.

" Ok." She smiled a little tilting her head and giving a tiny laugh.

" You are a good friend ginny. It's like what you went through with Sirius in the prequel huh?

" The what? "

" I mean before when you werent dating yet huh?"

" Um yeah ...he and I struggled quite a bit...like the time he kissed me told me he loved me then told me to forget it and next thing I knew there I was standing in the middle of a hallway when all of a sudden this boy comes up to me and Siri just runs right back and deducts like a trillion points from Ravenclaw..but thats a whole other story."

" Yeah...yeah it is...and if people would review I wouldnt be breaking the fourth wall and there might be another story.."

" Luna please tell me your not high again?"

" ok I wont tell you."


	14. Old Habits Die Hard, Cathy

Authors Note... Obviously youve noticed I hadent uploaded in..welll a long while, I want to finish this story but I dont know how much you guys want me to finish this story...there are not enough Ginny/Sirius stories out there...and I wanna contribute, I got plans for this and im starting the prolouge to this story, how they met, why the hell Sirius is alive and kicking and all kinds of romanitical nonsenseical fun lol SO leave a review tell me you want me to continue and inspire me to want to continue lol because frankly my dear...im one lazy ass lol Kudos to you that do and enjoy this totally odd romance lol

cHAPTER 14

" A play huh?" Ginny asked looking at the flyer hanging in the Griffindor common room.

" Yup ...I was going to audition but there is no way im going without you, its being hosted by that new skanky professor, Mrs. Romaine or something like that" Luna said laying down on the floor with her hands on her abdomen.

" Ugh...I'm no good at acting, and im sure is bound to find that out"

" DId you even read the name of the play?"

" Does it matter?"

" Of course it does...take another look."

" Oh my MERLINS BEARD ! Wuthering Heights...I cant wait ...I WILL BE CATHY if it kills me, I'LL BE CATHY IF IT KILLS HER."

" Ironic isnt it..you know seeing as she does die , heh heh but It probably will be the end of you seeing as Cho Chan is going to try out" Snickered a couple of girls that were eavesdropping on their conversation.

" Oh bugger off dont you have some hot proffessor to molest, Ive already got my own" Laughed out Ginny as they turned their heads in embaressment, their faces velvet all over. Ever since word had gotten out about Ginny and Sirius the whole Hogwarts female population thought that Sirius just fancied younger women..not just Ginny, so it was becoming a slight pain to try to get to him between classes when half his class stayed after periods to try and get out a little flirt. And the worst of it all, Sirius enjoyed the attention the damn narcassistic egotistical MAN.

" Anyways...as I said..I ...WILL...be ..Catherine Earnshaw if it means the end of everyother potential leading girl."

" I thought you said you cant act to save your life."

" I said " Im no good at acting" but that was me acting...Im that damn good."

" So I take it this is your way of telling me that you'll be joining me for todays auditions?" said Luna her eyebrow arched in a very questioning manner.

" Does Heathcliff love Catherine so Irrevocably he ends up digging her out of her grave to see her face one last time?' said Ginny splaying out on the sofa, red hair flying as she went.

" um...yes."

" Well there you have it "

Giinny started on her way towards the Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom a skip in her step, Sirius would die of laughter when she told him she would be trying out, she was kind of a spaz onstage. What she saw when she got there though was not what she expected, it made her visibly cringe, and a chocked out sort of squeak came out of her and a tight knot formed low in her throat. " I guess she was right..huh?" Ginny whispered to herself.

There on top of Sirius desk was the new History of Magic teacher...and she was currently a little occupied with Sirius practically on top of her.

Hair splayed, ruffled clothing, and a condesending smirk when she saw Ginny at the door. She gave a loud moan...just to piss her off.

" Hey Siri!" Ginny cried out her voice sounding strained and raw to her own ears.

" Gi...Ginny" Sirius stumbled trying to regain composure and for the first time in his life, his cocky and self assured self was completely wiped away. This man no longer had any bravado.

" Siri..Go to Hell" Ginny smiled glad that her inner cynic took over because otherwise she would be on the floor sobbing so hard her lungs would explode...as she planned to do later on that day in the confine of Lunas room. So Hermionie was right... so maybe they were too perfect after all. Everything they worked for right down the drain all for a new hussy and old habits.

" By the way Mr. Black, you better cover up..." Sirius looked down eyes wide " Your slut side is showing, later."

She walked away...as she felt her heart break with every step she took.


	15. Scarlett OHara and Little Green Monsters

Authors Note...WITNESS MY MELODRAMA...yup Enjoy peeps...oh and review if you dig..

Chapter 15

"Luna I am totally and utterly devastated..."

"you dont look devastated"

"Im holding it in for fear of wreaking hell, kicking ass and taking names, and then eating a huge box of chocolates and rewatching Wuthering Heights 50 thousand times and screaming " Cathy dont fucking do it, Heatcliff loves you you fucking slut, he LOVES YOU " Ginny cried out actually yelling out the last part.

"ah there it is ...i see the desperation now."

"Can I kill her luna, Oh please say I can" Ginny whined and let out a little laugh but it didnt quite reach her eyes...

"its ok to be sad Ginny...your hurt. "

Ginny looked at her with eyes that seemed to be searching for the others soul and fianally let out with a sigh.

" I hate him...no I hate that I love him when I should hate him...despite all this...shouldnt I be infuriated, shouldn't I be pissed beyond comprehention to be played like this again...like some broken doll thats been fixed and then torn apart all over again by an overactive child Fuck..Luna...Im still... trying to justify him... why he would be snogging a slutty ass teacher on top of his desk...why of all people did it had to be him ...why ...why he would do that to me...?

Luna just looked at her.

Ginny stared back and let out a cry " I say to myself, he just didnt know what he was doing you know, I say that she came on to him, that..that he didnt mean to do it, Fuck I even though hell maybe he fell and landed onto her mosquito bite sized breasts and 6 mile legs and onto her lips but ...He knew what he was doing, he is skilled in those oh so naughty ways ...damn maurader...did you know they used to play " lets see how many girls we can get into the broomcloset with us" when he was young. damn...damn fucking mauraders."

Luna had a tiny smile and though she was still tearing Ginny felt a sad one coming on as well.

" And I think...If she came onto him then...then why was HE on top of HER...I am more than sure that praying mantis of a woman couldnt overpower THEE SIRIUS BLACK with just sheer force, and no wand in sight at all...

He...he might have not meant to do it but...he did it, didnt he? so that doesnt negate the fact that he did it...whats done is in fact done, there is no going back..." She said as she hung her head but then smiled.

"and ...well no yeah his balance does seem to suck doesnt it..."Ginny sighed finishing and wiping her tears, she layed down on the carpet next to Luna.

"What do you think Hermionie meant Luna?" Ginny asked turning her head and looking up to see Luna looking down at the carpeted floor." What does an addition to an addiction mean?"

"Its the desprate need to find love and fill the gape in our hearts."

" I used to think that, I was so logical...so nosensical..cynical...I didnt believe in love after Harry, and then I found it...and now...well Merlin knows." Ginny sighed and continued.

"I believed that love is just a lie, that in the end it's a controlled and estimated delusion. That from experience I knew that love was something way too close to insanity and that in the end that own insanity took everything you cared for and everything in your own being from yourself...I believed that love took your life from you only then to proceed to destroy it. Because love in its own right can be catastrophic and complicated. I believed all those things and told myself that I had endured enough heartache to last a lifetime, but I was wrong. I fell in love...once more,but I was cautious, carefull and untrusting. I didn't believe that what he made me feel was in fact real, I told myself over and over and over again that this was like everyother romance...fake...a trivial and unimportant event in life that could one day be disgarded and disreegarded with ease, yet unknowingly he slowly corroded that barrier I had built for myself, my little cage that kept me far away from the world. So painfully slowly he let me see what life could be if I let myself trust someone again. He made me feel safe, and though what we share is far from what a storybook romance should be, it's exactly what I needed. It's real. And Real love, not perfect, or foolish, or childish, but _**real **_love, is eternal."

" I think you just answered yourself Ginny.." Luna said smiling at her.

" Yeah..but...then why...cant I ...I dont think I have the streanth to go up to him and tell him so...he made a mistake...we've all made mistakes...but ...what if the real reason, the real reason as to why he did what he did is simply because...he doesnt want me...anymore" Ginny sighed placing an arm over her eyes.

" well we'll just have to wait and see know won't we...you can make him pay for this ...make him prove he loves you still...a little dose of the little green monster should give him the little push he needs to procalaim undying love wouldnt you agree Sherlock." Luna said mischiviously smiling in an oh so wicked way.

" Why Dr. Watson...I do believe you're right."

" And you know who would really tickle his pickle?"

Ginny looked up apraisingly rising onto her elbows a smirk planted on her face.

" Why I hear a certain Vicktor Krum will be coming in to take the lead as Heathcliff..."

" and I know just who will be playing Catherine after Chan has a little accident" Said Luna dusting off her skirt and reaching for her wand.

" Luna where are you going?" Ginny laughed out.

" Im gonna pay a little visit to our current head thespian"

" Luna you cant take down the lead in the play just for my little ol sake ...Im no scarlett ohara...You could get expelled Luna!" Ginny cried out as Luna walked out of the commonroom.

She turned around at the head of the stairs...and let out in a too adorable and sing songy voice." Frankly my dear...I dont give a damn."

**Authors Note...This is SPINALLLL TAAPPP oh wait no its not this is ...SQUEE BEING MELODRAMATIC ABOUT LOVEEEE YEHAHHHH **

**REVIEW AND YOU ALL GET A SUDDEN FEELING OF GRATIFICATION AND SELF AWSOMENESS!**


	16. Luna's Microbus Anthology

**Authors Note...HP is not mine...this is NOT JK Rowling...If I was I wouldnt write this effing bad now would I ...I wouldnt spend my whole week waiting for True Blood, Glee, Warehouse 13, Lie to Me, and Royal Pains. OH AND HOUSE! JK Rowling does not do this...in fact she probably fills a whole pool with money and takes a swim ...and then goes and raises shittons of money for some charities...this is what I think JK Rowling does...Sigh...why God...por to the K**

Chapter 16

" Did you hear poor Cho Chan fell off the astronomy tower, tumbled straight down the stairs that she did..." Ginny overheard a couple of girls talking from just a few seats away during her potions lesson.

" yeah and straight into a brewed wart potion that Longbottom boy was carrying. Poor Cho ,there goes her lead in the play, there is no way that Romaine will let her be Catherine with a face like that...she'll be stuck at St. Mungo for at least 2 weeks"

"Such a shame...such..a..shame."

At that point Luna had walked in and sat next to her with a joyous little bounce. " You did didnt you?"

" What in the world are you on about? ..Ive been with Neville at the lake."

" Neville huh ? Would Neville have been carrying a freshly brewed potion for warts? "

" He might have had an vial of such said potion and he might have been on his way up to the astronomy tower and he might have opened it up at the most inoppertune time...but thats an awful lot of mights dont you think?" Luna said head tilted up at the ceiling eyes her eyes glossy and questioning.

" You still joining me at auditions today? Viktor Krum is bound to be there by now."

" As awful as I feel about Cho being ..um incapacitated and probably unconcious by the mere sight of her ghastly facelyness by now...Yeah I'm down."

" Good I hate to have gone through such trouble of bringing about the demise of young actress's career if you're not going to even audition."

" Ugh Im going to have to see that hags face though, I dont know how I'll get through it."

" Oh come on Hermionies face isnt that abominable? Well sometimes when reflected in the wrong kind of light it does take a ghostly demenor reminiscent of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre...and sure sometimes children run in fear of her oncoming presence...oh and lets not forget how dogs start howling in pain when she nears ...oh and..."

" I was talking about Ms. Romaine Luna...but you do make a fairly solid point. Another challenge on my quest to become Catherine Earnshaw. " Ginny said with a confidence as she added

As they rambled on about their upcoming scenes they looked up when a bang startled them out of their conversation. Susan Darcy had caught her hair on fire and was running around trying to put it out. " You could have just done something like that...its more practical than...well than pummeling someone down the stairs. An achivement accomplished by how exactly?."

" I told her there was a certain Harry Potter looking to ask her out, clearly she wanted to be the girl that got chosen over you in the Harry vs Sirius ..thingy. If she fell for that she obvously deserved it. Hmph " Luna replied adorably miffed.

" Thingy?"

" Yes you know, the fight to the death thing that ended a long time ago..."

" 3 weeks is not a long time...and I'm quite sure it wasn't a fight to the death...it ended in like 2 days'

" Well when you spend as much time high as I am.."

" What?"

" Oh nothing...sigh"

" Did you just say sigh"

" yes...yes I did"Luna said and then started to sing."

" what if god was one of us, hit the bong like some of us, drove a tie dye microbus, and subscribed to Rollings Stone?"

**Authors Note...I love portraying Luna lol Review people you know you likey...I can tell by my site traffic HA! I caught you...yup oh and thanks alot to my lone reviewers...**

**ROBOTICURGES ...And her everly awsomeness and ...and Spectacularness list of books I should take a gander on **

**WILDFLOWER082 ...You rocked my day with your review...SHES DISSAPOINTED IN YOU PEOPLE YOU SHOULD REVIEW! Stellar and Brilliant that she be..oh yes.**

**TMINOU ...My anonymous reader whom I totally love for the review oh yeahz SUPER STELLAR**


	17. Eye Sex and Passion

**Authors Note: This one is to WILDFLOWER082 for her ever awsome reviews and for being brave enough to read my story anywhere near any other human being YEAH! P.S this is what part of the alphabet would look like if they removed Q and R.**

Ginny and Luna stood side by side in the Great Hall. As Ms. Romaine walked by she took notice of Ginny and gave a little smirk putting the back of her hand to her mouth like one of those soap opera fiends and scoffed. Ginny just crossed her arms and turned her head to the side with a little smile of her own as she noticed Luna rocking back and forth from heel to toe and hands to her back looking at the ceiling. At that moment the door slammed and Ginny's smile dissapeared. Sirius stood there and she watched as he coughed to clear the air that had suddenly turned thick.

" Students you all know Proffessor Black...he'll be joining us in our production as co-director as he knows the material..quite...well" She said her blue eyes slithering over to Ginny as she spoke. " Now as you've all heard you girls main competition will be in St. Mungos as of her little...accident. Yes Luna whats your queston..."

Ginny turned to see Luna raising her arm, she didnt know how that had escaped her.

" Do you always dictate your words like that, you know always pausing..."

" It adds a dramatic flair to my words , if you must know."

" Yes, I must, for a second I thought you had a speech impediment you see."

" A ...a speech impediment why...why thats absurd..."

" See there you go again awkward pauses and now repetition ...I believe you must have that checked out" Ginny added greatly satisfied at the Proffesors growing embarassment at the snickering that had started. As she turned her head she was delighted by the sight of a small smile on Sirius face and mischevious eyes behind tassels of long hair that covered his eyes.

She felt butterflies and heat as she caught his eye and turned quickly away trying not to show her true feelings and turned to Luna instead

" Lets...get...started SHALL WE..." Ms. Romaine

" First to audition Lavender Brown."

Lavender stood up overly joyous and flipped her hair knocking down some poor boy as she did.

" I shall portray a scene from the most wonderful screenplay ever written,." JACK JACK ! Dont die Jack I love you...Cant you see ...That moment where I was naked and you were drawing me...think about that and LIVE ! JACK JACK...FLOAT LIKE A FEATHER STIFF AS A BOARD! "

" Im sure I didnt see that version of Titanic" Ginny muttered twoard Luna who was watching with her mouth slightly ajar as Lavender proceeded to flop around on the floor pretending to drown.

" I wouldnt remember...I was soooooo stoned that day...ahh...good times, goooood times." Luna said bobbing her head.

" Well I think we can move on now." Sirius announced standing up an eyebrow arched in a questioning manner.

" That...was...the ..most amazing portrayal I've ever seen of Rose...there is no need to continue ...we have our Catherine."

" Oh thats Bollocks! Ive seen fish do better drowning than that" Cried out Luna.

" Luna is absolutely right there has to passion for this role...Ginny recite this scene with me " Asked Sirius his hand outstretched and waiting.

The class drew unexpectadly silent as she took his hand in hers and he started to speek.

**"You teach me how cruel you've been - cruel and false. Why do you despise me? Why did you betray your own heart, Cathy? I have not one word of comfort. You deserve this. You have killed yourself. Yes, you may kiss me, and cry, and wring out my kisses and tears; they'll blight you - they'll damn you. You loved me-then what right had you to leave me? What right-answer me-for the poor fancy you felt for Linton? Because misery, and degradation and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, you, of your own will, did it. I have not broken your heart-you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine. So much the worse for me that I am strong. Do I want to live? What kind of living would it be if you-Oh, God! would you like to live with your soul in the grave?"**

Ginny gasped and her heart hammered inside her chest, he was reciting her favorite part in the book...with an intake of strained breath she recited with a cry that was not fake.

"** Let me alone, let me alone," she sobbed. " If I've done wrong Im dying for it. It is enough! You left me too: but I won't upbraid you! I forgive you. Forgive me!" **Ginny cried out.

Sirius face turned solemn and he clasped her hand tighter and drew her near. **" It is hard to forgive, and look at those eyes, and feel those wasted hands,' he answered " Kiss me again and dont let me see your eyes! I forgive what you have done to me. I love my murderer- but yours! How can I ? "**

They stood there and gazed deep into the others eyes when they were disrupted by a loud cough.

" Well that was just awful...terriblly so...no no it will not do, surely you cannot think you are...worthy of being Catherine Earnshaw there is no chemistry...no...no...NEXT! " Ms. Romaine said with a shriek and then took Sirius by the shoulder and then his arm and started squabaling about who knows what.

" Ginny ...Ginny?" Luna asked waving a hand infront of her face. As Ginny turned she noticed that everyone in the room was still and quiet swooning and with almost inebriated faces.

" Now why the hell does everyone look like they drank a fifth of firewiskey? "

" Because..." Luna started a red tinge in her cheeks..." You guys were so passionate so..um raw. I thought I was about to witness X rated material for a while there."

Ginny turned velvet. " Oh god no...really? "

" Sirius looked like he was already undressing you with his eyes..I mean look around all these girls are just about to bust out of their clothes if we dont get outta here soon."

" Geez Luna way to kill the best eye sex I've ever had " Ginny replied flushed and heatedly.

"Oh please our eye sex is much better" Luna laughed and led the way to the commonroom.

**Authors Note: The bold are actually from the book Wuthering Heights ...a great read..in fact is is my favorite book of all time. If you read the book you will want to see the movie ...settle for no other version well actually you can see them all but my personal favorite is the 1992 version of Ralph Fiennes and Juliete Binoche...yes yes I know he plays Voldemort but hey who knew Voldy could be irresistably sexy and smoldering and make you wish you were loved by such a cruel beast...ahhhhh sigh . anyways read view and review and then tell me how awsome I am cuz I have an ego...lol sorry I meant eggo...as in waffle..hmmmmmm SHOUT OUT TO WILDFLOWER082 ROBOTIC URGES AND TMINOU **

**TASTE MY LIGHTNING FUCKARS!- The Pick of Destiny**


	18. Gertrudian Catastrophy

Authors Note: I AM NOT FAT...WAIT...thats not what I was going to say...I meant...I do not own Harry Potter...Sirius on the other hand...no not that either...sigh...What about Remus...oh come on JK ROWLING no not even him...sigh ok on with the story. THIS IS FOR MY LOYAL FANS AND FRIENDS...ROBOTICURGES WILDFLOWER082 TMINOU

Chapter 18

" So are you going to talk to him now or what "

"No...not yet...I c..cant, that was wayyyy to intense for such a close follow up...I want him to want this ...I ..I need him to be a man and step up to the plate."

Ginny walked into class after staring off for a moment and left Luna outside.

:" Now this is too absurd. They both love eachother...why prolong the inevitable...why drown the cat in the bathtub..why trap fireflies and shake the jar up and down?"

" Luna are you alright?" Asked Remus as he just happened to walk by.

" Ah just who I need."

" I see, ah well then to my office."

Then walked on having small talk and absurdities..apperently the Headmaster found it quite amusing to have Luna greet all the portraits on their way to his office, he even joined in after a while.

" Why would the portrait of Nicholas Flamel think that your his great aunt Gertrude? Surely you are not an elderly woman in disguise are you Remus? Your warewolf side cant be a great cover up!"

" No Im afraid not...Great aunt Gertrude must of been a manly looking lady or ...well that or I am an old hag looking man."

" I think the latter is more acurate...yeah.."

" Well in that case I'll just have to embrace my inner Gertrudian side now wont I ...Im a warewolf...I can do it" Remus said with a laugh as he sat on his desk " so what may I ask brings you here this fine day?"

" You walked me here didnt you..isnt that how I got here?" asked Luna looking at all the trinkets laying about.

" Yes I believe I did...would this have anything to do with our current best friends love lives?'  
" Yes it would ...now I have a proposition.:" Luna whispered her plan into his ear.

" What? " Remus yelled out. " WE LOCK THEM IN A BROOMCLOSET AND BOOM

BABY MAKING!" Luna shouted into his ear.

" Luna I meant..that that isnt the most elegant plan in the history of magic now is it." Remus said rubbing his poor ear.

" No it might not be but Im fairly sure it'll work...BABY EXPLOSIONNNN!" Luna said twirling her arms in the air.

" Is there nothing else that comes to mind...maybe a romantic dinner date? "

" They are both to ..whats the word..unusual for something so ordinary...they neeeed to be locked in a broom closet. Baby explosion...its the ONLY WAY!"

" Why dont we try something suddle first maybe a chance meeting...yeah lets go with that"

" You really are Aunt Gertrude arent you...so old fashion so...not coool."

" You know you find me irresistable" Joked Remus and was imensly satisfied when he saw her turn several shades of red.

" Ok so here is the plan" he said " We get them to that really obnoxious tea place Harry took Cho on a date...and then we spy on them and see what happens."

" Remus ...sigh...fine."

" Did you just say 'sigh'?"

LATER THAT WEEK

" CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT STUPID COW...THAT WHORE THAT ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING TOAD LOOKING FREAK OF FUCKING NATURE!"

" Oh Ginny...I know...Hermionie does sometimes scare the living daylights out of me what with all those Gnarkles feeding on her brain but..."

" I was talking about Romaine...but yes ..yes I know what you mean.." Ginny stopped and contemplated horrible images of Hermionie in her head." UGHHH..but that damn IDIOT...how could he do that to me ...after everything was going sooooo well...I mean who would of thought he would show up at that tea house I was waiting for you in such a meeting of chance and then he just goes and uuuuugggghhhh!.."

" Yes..." Luna looked around silently cursing Remus." Truth is..IT WAS ALL THAT WEREWOLFS IDEA..not the Romaine part but the chance meeting was not so chancy and more like evil and not so good ideas from the mind of one Remus Lupin Headmaster and whatnot."

" That ...werewolf! Ugh...but he was just trying to get us back together...FAILING ...but trying."

"You shouldnt worry...Im sure someone much more astoundingly awsome and should I dare say damn outright ...will come up with a much more brilliant plan than that...hoe."

" Did you just call Remus a hoe?"

" Most certainly..."

" Well...alright then. Luna tell me about your love life mine is much to depressing at the moment ...How goes the Ron-a-hunting."

Luna's eyes hazed over and the mood in the room became somber.." I wish...I wish I could be like you Ginny...so strong...I tried telling him but...he just looked so painfully happy..."

" So you didnt tell him" Ginny asked gently/

" Thats the messed up part..I did."

" When?"

" Last night..."

"Why didnt you tell me? " Ginny said tears in her eyes she could tell that things werent good.

" You had alot on your plate...what with Sirius being a slut and all that jazz..but..things didnt go ...good." she laughed though tears were welling up in her eyes. " I told him..." Hermionie doesnt deserve you Ron...she's in love with someone else..."

" What did he say." Luna looked down.

" He said he didnt care...that even though love was onesided...that it wouldnt stop being love...and if Hermionie wanted to be with him despite being in love with some one else...he'd let her..because..he loved her more than life...exact words...He can be so deep sometimes.."

" I didnt know Ron and deep could go in the same sentence...unless that sentence was Ron you've got a stick so deep in your ass you can see it down your throat."

Luna laughed " Maybe its time...I move on...I've been noticing someone lately...and he ...gets me ...the way I get Ron."

"Would I happen to know that someone."

" His name is Gertrude." Luna said with a smirk..."so what exactly happened at that tea house."

" A total fucking catastrophy."

AUTHORS NOTE: PEOPLE LISTEN TO ME...PREGNANCY MAKES YOU FAT...AND THEN YOUR NOT PREGNANT AND GUESS WHAT...YOU ARE STILL FAT...just some words of advice.

I would also want to say READ AND REVIEW LOVE


	19. Gertie's Big Cupid and Plant Plan AGO!

AUTHORS NOTE: SHORT CHAPPIE A LOOK INTO WHAT HAPPENED AT GERTIE...I MEAN REMUS BRILLIANT PLAN YEA! SO NEXT CHAPPIE UP SOON!

**PS SHOUT OUT TO MY FRIENDS AND REVIEWERS WILDFLOWER ROBOTIC URGES TMIONU AND MY NEWEST REVIEWER MIYUGI YOU GUYS TOTALLY MAKE MY DAY..HERES TOO YOU!**

Chapter 19

" Luna where are you...you were supposed to be here half an hour ago!" Ginny muttered to herself looking around at all the other couples in the room."I dont know if its a good thing that your not here to be called a lesbian with but then again I must look like some psycho praying on young couples...like im about to age to 35 and get a ton of cats."

" Ginny its not good to talk to yourself...its not flattering on a young lady."

Ginny looked up and gasped." Sirius...what ...what are you doing here."

He looked at her with slightly abashed eyes." I came to ...buy some biscuts... Headmasters orders...aparently he loves the ones here."

" Its a Hogsmade trip ...he could have come get them himself." She huffed out.

" I told him that but he seems to think Im his maid...or an elf."

" You do look like an elf."

Sirius smiled wickedly" and you make one hell of a maid."Ginny blushed furiously as he sat down and made himself comfterable. Not two seconds passed when a scantly angel dressed waitress came to the table. " May I get you a beverage...pumpkin juice..firewhiskey?" She asked with a wink completely ignoring Ginny.

" Um..Hello am I wearing an invisibility cloak or something ...Id like some herbal tea and crumpets thanks ...you can go now " Ginny said.

" Someone call heaven ...cuz there is one FINE looking angel on the loose." Sirius said with a smirk and a wink and Ginny wished she could knock his two front teeth right off his face.

The waitress winked and walked away fawning over him and forgot her order completely. " Well...arent you moving on nicely" Ginny said.

He turned briskly in her direction." You knew fully well I was a flirt Ginny..." She tried to get up but he took her hand and said with his head hanging down" but...but you know fully well ...that I love you...only you...my heart is and always will belong to you...dont forget that."

Ginny sat back down." What does that even mean...I mean think about it ...what does Im a lying cheating man but Im horribly and irrevocably in love with you even mean huh...Cuz ill tell you to me...it sounds like a whole lotta shit...dog stinking stupid shit!"

" I love you...I love you...isnt it going through your head...its not fancy into liking ...its not a petty love of children...even though we both can be young at heart...you in age as well...I love you and you love me...I know it deep within me ,you can not hide it from my self...my very being longs for you ...you cant fake that kind of love...I am forever in your debt for what I've done but there is not one other that makes me who I am other than you."

Ginny stifled a cry." Yes...I know. I...I feel the same way but it hurts Sirius."

" What I've done is unforgivable but I cant just let you go Ginny."

" Thats not what hurts you silly old dog." Ginny said with a sad desperate laugh"...It hurts to have you away from me..I feel like Im dying everyday we spend apart. Its much like suffocating, slowly and agonizingly, every breath I take is a struggle when you're not around...I miss my home...our home...I miss our couch ...the smell of our kitchen...the bed we share..I miss it all Sirius"

" I ...come back Ginny."

Ginny smiled " I would ..."

walked in hurridly" MY LOVE FORGIVE ME ...I AM...LATE...BUT FEAR NOT I AM WELL AND WE MAY HAVE OUR ROMANTIC DATE ! OH SIRI WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PLACE YOU'VE CHOSEN!"

Ginny looked at her and at Sirius guilt ridden face. " I would rather die than spend another waking moment with you."

IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM

Luna and Neville were currently hiding in the corner of the room cleverly disguised as a plant and a giant baby cupid. " Luna why the hell are you dressed like a giant baby cupid...?"

" Im in the mood for romance...and just screams ROMANCE dont you think?" Several customers turned to look at the but in this tea shop ...well quite frankly it wasnt uncommon for a giant cupid to be talking to a plant...you had to be insane to work here.

" And Im a plant exactly why? '

"I heard you liked plants? Now shush...this is going great...dont you see the wonder" said Luna as Sirius took Ginny's hand and told her he loved her..." for a second there I was afraid he blew it with the she bitch waitress but." Luna glared at the waitress as she overheard the comment " Ill turn you into a wallaby if you dont walk away lady" Luna said and then frowned when she saw Remus run through the door completely ignored by Ginny and Sirius. " what are you doing here Gertwolf...your supposed to be watching that mid sentence christopher walken wannabe theatere teacher and stopping her from coming this way!"

Remus bent over winded from the run and managed to croak out." See...about that"

" MY LOVE FORGIVE ME...I AM ...LATE...BUT FEAR NOT I AM WELL...AND WE MAY HAVE OUR...ROMANTIC DATE ! OH SIRI AND WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PLACE YOU'VE CHOSEN!"

" The plan didnt go as well as we well...planned."

They all turned in synch to see as Ginny stood up and looked from to Sirius. " I would rather die than spend another waking moment with you."

" Gertie...your plans...suck so much ass." Luna said as they watched Ginny walk out.

" Says the giant baby cupid..."

" Can I go change now." Neville said scratching his leg.

" NO!

DISCLAIMER : I DONT OWN HP ...SIGH...FUCK...CRAP...GET RICH QUICK SCHEME HERE I COME!


	20. BroomclosetBabies: LunasPlan Disembowled

AUTHORS NOTE: ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO DO THE WAVE~ CASSANDRA CLARE

THOSE PEOPLE ARE :

MY SPECTACULARE FRIEND** WILDFLOWER082**

**ROBOTICURGES** AND HER FREAKING AWSOME

**TMINOU** FOR MAKING MY DAY WITH HER CHILL

AND MY LATEST AND GREATEST **MIYUGI **

READ AND REVIEW PEOPLE TSK TSK

Chapter 20

" So im guessing you're reevaluating the whole Sirius thing...huh."

" Yeah...Its in my nature to be a whore isnt the most elegant exuse in the book you know? Maybe something like hey shes got a good ass and a great set of tits or Hello my name is Sirius Black and I..am a sex addict. Something fancy."

" Sigh oh Gin Gin...you...you need to get laid."

" How is that going to fix things?"

" Oh its not but...bow chiki pow wow..." Luna said doing a little dance.

" Pow wow." Ginny sang with a little laugh." Ok now that we've got that out of the way where too now?"

" Neville is throwing you a small pity party at the room of requirements, so come on"

" You guys literally threw me a pity party?"

" Of course what kind of asshole friends do you think we are..we've got cookies and chips and im sorry your boyfriends a douche balloons Oh and a hooka with..."

" Luna .." Ginny hugged her tight...youz a dick."

Luna smiled dreamily and said" I know" and she led the way.

" Luna this is not the room of requirements." Ginny said standing in front of a door." Its a broom closet."

" No no its the room ...I know these things."

" Well not quite as well as you thought because this my dear friend...is a fucking broom closet."

" No no...its the room I tell you its just designed to look like a broom closet because ...its required of it...because its the room of requirements ...get it?"

Ginny looked at it quizziclly. " I dont know Luna, I mean."

" GET INSIDE!" Yelled Luna and she shoved Ginny through the door.

" IT IS A FUCKING BROOM CLOSET YOU ASS!"

Ginny put her ear to the door and all she heard was " BABY EXPLOSIOOONN!" As Luna ran through the halls.

" Looking too good to be hanging around in a dingy old broom closet with a man twice your age. Dont you think" Said Sirius reclining in the small space.

Ginny looked down at the dress she had worn for her...'pity party' and mentally smacked herself. She crossed her arms over the generous amount of cleavege she was showing and smirked as she turned. " You shouldn't stare so hard old man...this sight is only for younger men who dont have a fear of myocardial infarctions."

" Oh I'm not afraid of heart attacks...but it does hurt my poor heart to know you were planning on showing off tonight...Who did you wear that for huh? Who's attention were you planning on getting tonight." Sirius said his voice harsh and sarcastic as he twirled a lock of her hair between his fingers. " I always did like it when you wore black." He humphed.

" What does that matter...All you should know is that its most certainly was not...for..you. " Ginny said.

" WHO THE HELL DID YOU PLAN TO SEE TONIGHT!" Sirius yelled out pounding his hand against the wooden frame of the door. She gasped in surprise and started to tremble lightly ,she had never seen Sirius this way before, completly void of any control, not since...not since Azkaban.. He composed himself and ran his hand over his face.

" Im...Im sorry..I didnt mean that, but...Why are you doing this to me Ginny, I feel so fucking helpless...just knowing ...thinking...that you, that you could love another man, that any man could ever touch you the way that I have. " He said taking her face in his hands and holding her to him as to make his point " I love you Ginny, and though I know that there are many that would die for a chance just a chance to have you, that there are so many that deserve you so much more than I...I cannot let you are my life, You are my soul Ginny. I am a selfish man but I love you...in a way that not many have ever loved before."

" Then...then why cant you just belong to me then...WHY did you cheat...and lie ...and break my heart over and over. WERE YOU TO REALLY LOVE ME NO ONE ELSE WOULD MATTER...THE WORLD WOULD BE IRRELEVANT IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME! " Ginny cried out.

Sirius slumped over and fell onto a stack of books as Ginny cried softly. " I dont...I dont know.. I was fine until she came along Ginny, the whole time our relationship had started I had never so much as spared a passing glance at other women...but her I ..."

" Dont continue anymore please..."

" Ginny..." Sirius said once agian taking her face and making her look up at him. That was when Ginny noticed Sirius's irises." Sirius...whats wrong with your eyes...they...they have some sort halo some sort of OH MY MERLINS BEARD! THAT BITCH!"

" Ginny Ginny wait whats wrong."

Ginny reached for her wand and yelled out." EROS REPARTO"

Sirius fell to the floor. " What the hell was that Ginny"

" MERLIN SHE KILLED HIM! I TOLD YOU SHE WOULD ...UNLOCK IT HURRY...LUNA DONT DANCE AROUND THERE ISNT ANY LITERAL BABY EXPLOSION GOING ON IN THERE! "

" Oh come on Gertwolf..Im sure he's fine...maybe a little disemboweled but..."

" DISEMBOWELED OH HES GOING TO KILL ME IF HE ISNT ALREADY DEAD! I MADE HIM GO IN THERE FOR TEXTBOOKS AND NOW BAM JUST LIKE THAT MY LAST FRIEND DEAD AND MISSING HIS INTERNAL ORGANS!"

" Ginny...whats wrong why are you crying are you..." Sirius started but was cut off by Ginny kissing him and taking off his coat." I have no ...muph...idea whats...ouch...going on ...but I like...itmuph."

Ginny and Sirius were in the middle of a heated bout of passion :] when Luna and Remus unlocked the door.

" Oh...oh my.." Luna said turning around blushing.

" What...what happened.?"

Ginny looked at him with a huge smile and wide eyes. " that fucking whore..."

" What ?" Neville Luna and Gertwolf aka Remus asked.

" HERMIONIE...dont you guys get it...it was all her all along that crazy AMERICAN PSYCHO wannabe Ted Bundy Barney the Dinasour BITCH! She put an Eros charm on this dumb butt...she figuratively made him a dog like she said he would turn out...A HORN DOG! "

" Oh ...I get it. " Neville said. " she really took it quite far. huh. by the way that was a terrible joke...I hate puns. " Neville said as he walked away.

" You think..." Remus rolled his eyes." I better go have a talk with her. He turned to Luna " You coming. " she flashed him a lazy smile and said " of course."

" Ill see you later Gin.:"

" ok Luna dont get in to much trouble."

" Says the one on the floor on top of her professor."

" Touche. Now go away..its time for. " Ginny closed the door with a hard kick of her boots " BABY EXPLOSIONN!"

AUTHORS NOTE: SORRY FOR THE WAIT...BUT LIFE KEEPS CALLING AND TELLING ME TO GET OFF THE COMPUTER..OH WAIT THATS MY MOM. NEXT CHAPPIE UP SOON

PS. THIS WAS FOR YOU WILDFLOWER YOU ROCK MY WORLD WITH YOUR REVIEWS...ALIENATING STRANGERS AT A LOCAL STARBUCKS NEAR YOU!


	21. MINISODE

Authors Note: WITNESS THE CREATION OF THE MINISODE!  
This is to my reviewers :  
Miyugi - the ever awsomastic super reviewer  
RoboticUrges- the flamin tornado extraordinaire reviewer  
Tminou- the jumparific extrarump reviewer  
Wildflower082- killtastic funkzilla reviewer  
Kitty-I heart you - the most recent chilltastic bombastic reviewer  
lol damn maybe they don't like those names but ...THEY ARE THE BEST REVIEWERS/FRIENDS/READERS OF THE CENTURY, they make me super happy to be writing this story, so thanks guys for your support over these last few months, I wouldn't trade you guys for the world!  
SO ON WITH THE MINISODE ! (actually its just a short chapter but...minisode sounds better, doesn't it?) 

Chapter 21  
"So Gertwolf what do we do now? Ginny and Sirius are back together...probably doing moves we've never even heard of..." 

"I hope not...those broom closets are pretty dirty.." Remus replied dryly. 

"I guess that's why they call it getting down and dirty huh?" 

Remus laughed an almost canine bark. "What is with the puns today?" 

Luna chuckled a bit. "Hmm...you know what you should do before we go question that kraken looking beastly one..." 

"Hermione?" Remus asked. 

"Mhmmm. Must you call her that? It almost makes her sound..., human." Luna said with wide eyes. 

Remus smiled and shook his head slightly, "She's just a poor girl that got her heart broken by a stupid man...she just needs support." 

"I don't know Gertie, you always try to see the best in people and some people were just put on this planet to annoy me and Ginny." 

"That's why she was put on earth?" 

"Yup, the sole reason she was born was just so I would wake up and go 'ahh how will that crazy psychopath try to ruin my day today?' and then I go smoke my pipe." 

"What was that last part...wait no matter, " he chuckled. "I'm setting her up for counseling with Sirius...I'm guessing he has plenty to ask her." 

"Mmhmm you think? Questions along the lines of 'may I ask you why you turned me into a walking hard on?' or 'would you happen to know where I can find the men's room?" 

"Ah I see Ginny told you about that huh? Our dear Padfoot never quite found his way to the restroom at Hogwarts, in fact he often took a leak outside by the Whomping Willow, he said it was always an adventure to go take a piss." 

"You marauders are all insane you know that?" 

"It takes one to know one." 

"That is a horrible rebuttal...try again...go on." Luna smiled dazedly at the ceiling and Remus's breath caught in his chest but his rational side told him to get a hold of himself. 

"Well...in that case...I'm rubber your glue what ever you say bounces off me and sticks to you." 

"Better, but I'm afraid I have some bad news for you, sweet Headmaster..." He stopped outside his office and smiled down at her as her cheeks adopted a red tint. 

"Oh and what is that?" He asked knowing that he was playing with fire. 

"I'm terribly in love...with antiquated jokes." 

"In that case, I think I'm terribly in love with the antiquated jokes recipient." Luna's eyes grew like a doe's and her small hand took his, but as he threw open the door of his office she immediately let go. 

"To...Tonks. What are you doing here?" 


	22. Crying Venemous Snake in the Grass

AUTHORS NOTE: THIS IS FOR MY GREAT REVIEWERS AND AWESOME FRIENDS THAT KEEP THIS STORY GOING

MIYUGI  
ROBOTICURGES  
WILDFLOWER082 WHO IS ALSO MY SUPER COOL BETA  
TMINOU  
KITTY-IHEARTU

YOU GUYS KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS! THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT AND REVIEWS

Chapter 22

"Ok so why exactly are you going to be giving therapy lessons to that venomous snake in the grass? And more importantly still...why you? You have the most loose sense of moral in the entire magical world. A flesh eating deatheater has more sense in his head than you, my dear Siri." Ginny said as they were laying on their bed.

"Now that's a bit extreme don't you think my love? I most certainly have some morals...I mean look at this fantastic head of hair! No man without a sense of proper hair morals could have such tassels as mine. Not going to lie" As he swooshed his hair lovingly from side to side.

" I hardly think your hair makes you the perfect candidate to give advice to a sickly wench."

"You're being too hard on her...the girl had sex with Snape...SNAPE! She was bound to have strange side effects."

"Yeah turning you into a walking stiffy is totally an after effect of slytherin nasty putrid blugh..." She couldn't even bring herself to say the word.

"Sex. That's right...they had sex. And now she's having a mental breakdown. Coincidence? I think not."

Ginny chuckled and stopped drawing circles on his bare chest. "You might be right, but I still don't like it. She did after all manage to put you under an Eros charm, a feat accomplished by how exactly?" Ginny said raising an eyebrow.

"She came to me for advice about Snape and oh..."

"Exactly...if you go around humping anything that walks again, I might go nutters, and then my mom will really kill you."

"I'm amazed she's letting us go through with the wedding after all," Ginny shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"I know! I mean we had to scratch out the whole it was that wretched-freaky-little-soon-to-be-sister-in-law-of-mine that put the Eros charm on you but...I'm glad, August 15th. The date is finally set." She said with a happy smile as he took her hand in his and looked at the jewel in her finger...it's good to see that again. Ginny had stopped wearing it after the big fight.

"Does it feel good to be home?" Sirius asked playing with her hair tying strands in knots.

"Yes...I missed it all so much, I missed my huge bed, GOSH!" Ginny cried burying her head in her pillow as he continued his handiwork..."are you planning on making a wicker basket out of my hair or what?" she laughed.

"Nope just knitting it to tie your head around the bed post so you'll never leave again. Do you know how hard it is to sleep when you're not snoring next to me"

"Snoring? I do not snore...well..I mean maybe a lit-NO ...WELL...at least I don't bark in my sleep!"

Sirius laughed at her outrage "I love your peaceful angel snores as much as your crazy crackhead laugh..." He said dreamily snuggling against her chest until Ginny punched him in the arm.

"You crazy dog, you...is this how you welcome me home?" Ginny managed to choke out through the laughter.

"Well welcoming you home has already been done...and it was spec..ta..cu...lar..." Sirius enunciated.

Ginny blushed like mad, a color so close to her hair.. "Sirius!"

He lifted his eyebrow suggestively "What ...are you going to deny it?"

"N-n..ooo but still, I, oh shush!" She said throwing another punch in the same place as its predecessor. Sirius dogged it easily as he started getting out of bed

"Where are you going?" Ginny sighed trying to clutch the sheets back from Sirius who was in the process of dragging them with him off the bed. "and since when are you Mr. Modesty?" she giggled as he pranced around with a pillow in front of his pelvis since he gave up with the sheets.

"You were gone a long time and what can I say? Eating 3 pints of Rocky Road a night gets you fat."

"Siri .." Ginny said looking at his tight set of abs. "You are absolutely right, cover up you voluptuous cow."

Sirius cackled and came out the restroom in his classic white button shirt and black slacks.

"One day you are going to have to look professional and wizardly you know."

"Until that day comes...I'm going to do a pretty good job arousing the many female inhabitants of Earth, don't you think?"

Ginny snorted.

"Well love, I've better get going the first session starts in an hour and I've got to make myself delectable..."

"Don't you mean presentable? Ass." He gave her a long meaningful kiss.

"Yeah that was the word."

Ginny frowned "Alright, but, be careful. I don't need you breaking my heart all over again."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"Ass."

"Its going to rain" Ginny said as he walked out.

"No it wooon't."

AT HOGWARTS

Hermione sat in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom biting her lip and looking at the door nervously. Sirius waltzed in throwing his hair all over the place..."Sorry I'm late...it was raining in London." He explained.

Hermione caught her breath...So what if he acted like a dog all of the time? She could seriously see the why all the girls fantasized over the man. "You...live outside of Hogwarts?" Hermione asked meekly.

"Yeah. Ginny and I like the London feel.."

Hermione frowned at the thought of Ginny...If things kept this way Sirius and her would actually be related through marriage.

"I'm sorry about what happened...I'm just confused. " Hermione said making her face as guilty as possible.

Sirius's face broke whatever small tension still hung in the air. "I heard about what happened with Snape and I know that maybe right now you don't want to talk about it, but...I'm here for you. He won't hurt you again." Sirius said.

Hermione took his hand in hers "I'll tell you...Sirius...only you, I trust you," Shaking with false tears what she knew would lure him in running down her face.


	23. Dramatic Nose Breaking

Authors Note : **THIS IS IT**...I AM TIRED OF THESE MOTHER FUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHAFUCKING PLANE ...

Oh wait no...lol

To my faithful and amazing reviewers and dear friends for all their love and support.

**Miyugi**

**Kitty-Iheartu**

**RoboticUrges**

**Tmionu**

**AND MY AMAZING BETA WHO MAKES THIS ALL POSSIBLE THANK YOU WILDFLOWER082 **

DUNGEONS

"YOU SLIMY DISGUSTING PIG! SHE TOLD ME! SHE TOLD ME WHAT YOU DID, YOU BASTARD! YOU USED HER, YOU SICK FUCK!" Sirius yelled, throwing Snape against the dungeon wall.

He had a busted nose and was bleeding heavily from a large cut above his eye. "Black you better have a good fucking reason for assaulting me, what in Salazar's name are you on about, you insolent buffoon?"

"HERMIONE! THAT'S WHAT I'M ON ABOUT, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! I SHOULD FUCKING KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO HER!"

"And what exactly did I do? Court her? Love her? Much the way you are in fact doing with a girl that's even younger than Hermione, one at the same level of maturity of an infant."

"Don't you bring Ginny into this Snivellus...don't you dare. I love Ginny! I would never hurt her, never leave her, never in a million years humiliate her the way you've done to that girl. She's not half of what she used to be! HER INNOCENCE IS GONE! " Sirius whispered harshly, pacing and brushing his hand through his hair.

"Humiliate her...How? Do you even know what you're saying you ill mannered dog?" Snape said, venom dripping from his words.

"You RAPED HER, you foul disgusting creature, and she loves you for it. She loves the man that took advantage of a crush and took the last of her youth and for what...for what? TELL ME YOU FUCK! Making her believe you loved her and using her to fulfill your sick fantasies! Using her for your own personal enjoyment, just to torment her and rip her hopes away. She told me you promised to marry her, to give her children, to be with her forever. She loved- no loves you. Why? I cant even begin to comprehend."

"First of all, you imbecile, I never raped her, she gave herself to me willingly and I promised no such things. Secondly, we never openly declared anything. I loved her...but her love was one only a madman could survive. She clung onto me like a second skin, she left me messages on her parchment essays, left gifts on my desk, she once burned a girls head nearly clean off when she told her she found me handsome. Sirius" Snape said pinching the bridge of his nose, "she showed up at my house, she knew nothing could have ever evolved and yet there she was. I'm married and you know that, Black. Despite everything...I would never leave my wife."

"As if that shows me any better side of you. Cheating on your wife with a child."

"She is no more a child to me than that pesky Weasley is to you. And I assure you it was never my idea to start anything with her. She came on to me, seduced me and relentlessly shadowed me. My wife is with child...I am going to be a father, and when I found that out, I cut it off. She didn't see it that way." Snape took a long, shaky breath and let it out. "She thought when I said that I was leaving her because my wife was pregnant...she...she thought I meant that was the only reason..that my child...was the only thing in her way."

Sirius looked into his eyes and saw something looming underneath.

"What happened?"

Snape's eyes went wild and he lashed out "THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU BLACK! LEAVE IT! IF I HARMED HER IN ANY WAY, IF I FUCKED HER BRAINS OUT AND LEFT HER ROTTING ON THE STREET, WHAT IS IT TO YOU? ARE YOU GOING TO TELL YOUR DARLING WEASLEY YOU'RE BREAKING NOSES IN ANOTHER GIRLS NAME? MUCH MORE HERMIONE'S?"

Sirius eyes went dark and as he went in for another blow to the other mans face Remus stepped into the dim light. "Sirius that's enough...I have witnessed enough of this barbarianism...Snape," Remus bowed his head "You may leave us. "

Snape looked at Remus with understanding, "as you wish, Headmaster."

"Sirius" Remus said without looking at him his eyes trained on Snape's retreating back. "Follow me, please."

They found their way into Remus office and Sirius took a leap onto the couch. "That fucking asshole...you should have heard that sick fuck, Gertwolf. " Sirius said gently rubbing his bloody knuckles with a smirk on his face.

"Gertwolf? Oh no, not you too! The girls have taken an improper liking to it. " Remus said with a little swing of his head and his palm to his head.

"Its pretty fucking catchy isn't it? So...how did the little walk you had with Luna go, 'ol Moony...put the moves on her yet?"

"Yeah...I did, it was going great, I haven't felt someone be this close to getting me since...Lily and James."

"Now that is magic don't you think, beating hearts for beating hearts."

"Ah yes the old 'showing love for someone that already loves you' bit. " Remus said, looking slightly sad.

"Whats the matter Moony? She didn't fall for your crappy lines? I told you to say the classic 'ol 'are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see,' line."

"Oh I would have but I'm not that much of a one liner type of guy...you know the rape you in a dark alley kind. "

"Ouch, you wound me!" Sirius said, placing a hand over his heart.

"Sirius...Tonks showed up."

Sirius stopped smiling and a quizzical brow went in its place. "What did she say..."

"She said ..." Remus sighed "'There you are sweetheart...we've got to talk about our big day!' And then she sees Luna and goes 'Oh Luna, hi! Didn't see you there...but since you're here you should give me a huge hug, girl...I'M A WALKING ENGAGED WOMAN NO LONGER TO BE CALLED NYPHADORA TONKS, BUT TONKS LUPIN! Doesn't it have such a good ring to it?"

"Oh." Sirius said at a loss for words for the first time in a great many days.

"You should have seen Luna's face...that girl can hide pain quickly but my werewolf senses were to keen...I saw it in her eyes...she was hurt."

Sirius patted him on the back. "You know who you want, Gertwolf. If you don't love Tonks you better tell her before more than one person gets hurt."

"I, don't- Man, why are you making sense, Padfoot? You make it that much harder for me to admit it to myself!" Remus laughed.

"OK then...Dude, I have no clue. Screw them both, I say" Sirius joined in with a hearty chuckle.

"Now that's more like it..." Remus said, his laughter dieing down.

"OK...now Headmaster, cough cough, about what happened with Snape. You should know what Hermione told me." Sirius said turning...serious. (No Pun Intended!)

He went on telling him what Hermione had said and the confrontation part Remus had missed.

"Sirius." Remus placed his elbows on his thighs and leaned forward in his seat. "There is something you ought to know."

"Snape has talked to me about Hermione before...all the events that took place, it was a well kept secret as you can see. But...what Hermione told you were all lies."

"NO! She wouldn't lie to me, Remus...she wouldn't. You didn't see her eyes...that deep suffering that bastard gave to her."

"Sirius, Hermione is delusional. She's in psycho hallucinogenic shock. She spent a month in St. Mungo's last year, they might have told you it was due to head trauma but...it was the stress of what she had done."

"WHAT SHE HAD DONE! NO! WHAT HE HAD DONE TO HER, REMUS, SURELY YOU CAN SEE THAT, CANT YOU?"

"Sirius...Hermione was obsessed with Severus...she, she showed up at his manor...she went to his house and..." Remus cut himself off.

"Yeah, yeah, she confronted his wife...and he went ballistic on her. She told me."

"She was with child."

"Yes, I know he told me, but what does that have to do with Hermione? The stress to both of them was all to blame on him."

"No...Sirius...she was...with child."

Sirius's eyes went wide. "No...Hermione...she wouldn't"

But he knew she would have...he knew she did. Suddenly he understood the pain in Snape's eyes. The pain and suffering of the loss of a child. Something he could never even fathom. Something he never, ever wanted to.


	24. Zombie Ballz

**Authors Note : This one is to my telafreaking fantastic reviewers who are my reason to live because "DAMN IT FINN IM LIKE TINKERBELL I NEED APPLAUSE TO LIVE" Glee quote. Yes I went there.  
NE WAYS as I was saying aka writing before I rudely Kanye West interrupted myself this is to my reviewers here by referred to as SIRIUMANIACS ...it'll catch on just wait for it.**

TMINOU- cuz she can kick yo ass yo!  
ROBOTICURGES - cuz she reads books like a mofo and can tell you off in 10 dif. languages.  
WILDFLOWER082 - CUZ SHE BETAS THE FUCK OUTTA MY STORY AND KICKS MA ASS IN YALLZ NAME.  
MIYUGI- cuz come on who doesnt love that name?  
KITTY-IHEARTU- because why else? she hearts me duh : ]  
MISS CROOKSHANKS- cuz even a DSI cant get in the way of her awesome networking skillz

Now take heed...this story starts on a damp note.

Chapter 24

"She...she killed her?"

"She pushed Ivogna down the stairs after she invited her for tea in the upstairs foyer. Severus got there too late. While Ivogna made it to St. Mungo's on time...the baby had substantial damage, there was nothing they could do."

"How did I never hear of any of this? Severus...he never said a word. We may not be the closet of men but we are colleagues...we-he knew I would have been there for his family."

"There are things in life that are sometimes to painful to mention. Severus and Ivogna have moved on slowly, they've been attending counseling with the best in St. Mungo's and they have even started planning to try for a child again. In ways their relationship has become stronger through tragedy. He loves her very much."

"Then why didn't Hermione's therapy work? You said she spent a month in St. Mungo's psychiatric ward, so why did she tell me of the relationship...well what she thought was...ah this is too confusing." Sirius said pouring two shot glasses of firewhiskey.

"She has the basic understanding of the relationship, my dear Padfoot, but it seems she has filled in the blanks with thoughts of rape and fake promises, but, in the end they are just delusions...whether she truly believes them though...that I don't know."

Sirius shook his head from side to side and took a swig of firewhiskey. "Man...Moony, I feel I feel like a used condom...cheap and dirty."

Remus gave a hearty laugh "It's a good thing this isn't the first time you've felt that way."

"Janis Dickens seventh year...and they say you can't rape a man."

"After 12 shots and 3 hits of Prongs' special bag of Icky Thump, even Janis Dickens had the mad strength of ten dementors."

"She had the soul sucking ability too. Every time I think of waking up next to her on the Gryffindor couch I die a little bit inside."

Sirius barked out loudly, reminiscing about stupid things made it easier to swallow the truth and the gravity of things. He cleared his throat and smiled "Do you mind if I crash out in your couch man? I don't want Ginny waking up and wondering where I was. She's going to be pretty fucking pissed at me for this."

Remus just smiled and quipped "She's going to have you hanging from the astronomy tower by the balls when this gets out."

Sirius cringed at the image in his head "I wouldn't put it past her. That little thing...she has her mothers genes." He looked up at the other man from the brim of his glass and he noticed that though the air seemed less dense than when he first entered the office there was a hint of sadness in the others eyes.

"You thinking about Snivellus?" Sirius asked.

Gertwolf blushed a hard shade of red and he looked down at the hands on his knees. "N-no. It sounds horrible but I've had Luna on my mind all day. You would think that with a fiance and a wedding approaching I wouldn't have any space in my head but..."

Sirius sighed. "Do you want to marry Tonks? Give her children? Love her until your last breath? Live your life with her and ONLY her?"

"Don't make me answer that question Sirius. Luna she is just a girl...what can she possibly know about love?"

"Not for one minute do you blame this on age Gerty...I know you don't want to break Tonks' heart but when are you going to stop living your life for someone else's sake? If Luna is the one who makes breathing worth it, makes waking up in the morning look like the best thing ever, just to see her face, then, fuck it...that's who owns you. That's who YOU love."

"Padfoot...I really do hope Ginny strings you from the highest tower by your gonads."

"Ahhh. It feels good to be loved." Sirius laughed out putting his legs up on the couch. "It feels soooo good to be loved."

Luna and Ginny the Next Morning*

"Gin, Gin you look like the dead." Luna said a little "o" forming in her mouth.

"I waited up all night for that damn dog...and did he even bother to call or owl? Nope, that dirty mutt just makes me worry the life right out of me."

"I see...so...you're a zombie." Ginny looked at herself in a mirror in the hall.

"Yup...I want brai- no, wait balls...Sirius Black' Azkaban balls...on a fucking silver platter."

"That's some seriously questionable appetite there...even for a zombie." Luna said looking up at the darkening sky. "It looks like it's going to rain."

"You've been sullen all morning Luna, what's wrong?" Ginny asked, concern written all over her face.

Luna's gaze stayed on the sky. "Remus is getting married."

It took Ginny a total of four seconds to go ape shit. "THAT PIECE OF WEREWOLF SHIT! NO!" Ginny took a giant breath to calm down and not let anyone know Luna wanted to totally bone the Headmaster. "That...that little crazy insane fucking POOCH of mine would have let me know something that important. He knows you both are practically made for each other."

"Yes...well. It's just not meant to be, for whatever reason or cosmic disturbance in the universe, Remus is getting married...to Tonks...and try as I might I just can't be a bitch about it. Tonks is just so..."

"Cool." Ginny supplied thinking of the all smiles, clumsy auror.

"Exactly." Luna hugged her friend and smiled with a little cock of her head..."it's ok though, in the news of couplehood, there are greater stories out there."

"What, did Colin declare his undying love and affection to Cho in the middle of breakfast again?"

"Even better."

"What could possibly be bet-"

"Oh my dearest...won't you please take my bag up to my..room." Romaine simpered, walking out from the Great Hall.

She stopped, giving Ginny, who was leaning against the hall window with her arms crossed, a sharp look, while Luna stood beside her friend bouncing quietly on her heels, and she let out a loud yelp. "AHH ...uh oh dear. Who let out the lunatics? Ginevra you look...positively dreadful. You could pass for a dementor if you walked down the hall."

"I'm sure she'd love to eat your soul today, Professor Romaine...she's a zombie after all."

"Certainly looks like one." She said with a scoff.

"Honestly." Ginny started her words laced with irritation. "How great can your life be when you're named after lettuce."

Romaines cheeks swelled like an angered puffer fish and she turned to her left. "Pumpkin...We go...NOW" she said with a snap of her fingers and she stalked off with a messy haired boy trailing behind her heels.

"Is that...?" Ginny let the question hang.

"Yup...it's Harry Fucking Potter."

"With Romaine...Now that is a sight to behold. Like Hagrid in a wedding dress getting married to Snape...Or anyone getting married to Snape, PERIOD."

"It's not the only news though...it seems our resident psycho broke it off with a certain oh brother where art thou"

"Hermionie and my brother?" Ginny said eyes wide "Off, as in, no longer going to be my sister-in-law?"

"Yup...the very same. And he-" Luna stopped with a sad smile.

"And he what, Luna?" Ginny asked the concern returning to her face.

"He asked me to be his girlfriend...said he couldn't take being alone." She whispered looking down.

"And you said no right?" Ginny said pushing herself off the wall and putting her hands on the other girl's shoulders. "You did say no, right?"

"I said yes. I can't bare being alone either. Why love someone you can't have?"

"Luna I...you don't love my brother." Ginny said, practically shaking her.

"I love him a hell of a lot more than Hermione ever could" Luna cried out, but smiled softly with tears in her eyes.

"As long as my Remus...I'm sorry...as long as my Gertwolf is happy, I can't ask for more." She said as they made their way outside to the Great Lake.

"You found who you're supposed to be with Luna. It was written in the stars plain to see for anyone who really looked. I see the way you look at him...I see how his eyes grow soft whenever you're around, he's absolutely bonkers about you."

Luna gave Ginny a huge hug. "You're my best friend, Ginny. You of all people should understand how I feel, how I see this whole situation." She paused and gave Ginny a small squeeze "And after all is said and done...you're just a zombie and zombies eat brains...and walk slowly and go ughhhhh brains ughhh."

"What does...that, what...what could that possibly mean?" Ginny cried alongside her best friend.

Luna wiped the tears from her face and smiled wide for the first time all morning. "It means its ok...so.." She took out a peace pipe and lit it passing it to Ginny who took it reluctantly "..BABY DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING, CAUSE EVERY LITTLE THING IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT, MAN!"

**Authors Note: SO...TRYING TO MAKE THIS STORY HAPPY AGAIN YAY ZOMBIES AND BALLZ. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE PATIENCE AND THANK YOU FOR KEEPING THIS GIRL WRITTING WHEN HONEST TO GERARD BUTLERS ABS I DIDNT HAVE THE WILL TO DO SO ...SOOOOOO YAY BALLZ !**

Now Im not going to take credit for this one because this chappie got done thanx to three people. who left one of the most awsome reviews like ever via DSI thats dedication right there my friends and to my awsome kickin fuckin canadian country loving sweetastic beta WILDFLOWER082 who kept telling me to get my ass off of Farmville and write for all of you out there reviewers and not...so thank you both for giving me that push and thank you MIYUGI for telling me that that lame review was dumb I really needed to hear that from someone else. So...people...if you read this know that this chapter wasn't really me...it was all them and all of you that made this weird freaky story come alive. I never thought I would let it get this far...but fuck it I am fuckin glad it did. SO...

TODAY WE DINE HELL AND FOR THOSE WHO LIVE...lets meet at Mcdonals on tenth street everybody bring their own money I aint paying for all ya bitches. - Love Peace and Chicken Grease- Squee aka TCEM aka...last name Ever first name Greatest lol 


	25. PINCHE LESBIANAS!

Authors Note : So ...its been a while but...BANG IM BACK BITCH lol This story goes out to all of my readers and of course my wonderful reviewers and friends.

**Miyugi**

**RoboticUrges**

**Wildflower082 who also happens to be the BETA that deals with my horrid grammer and lethargicness lol **

**Kitty-IHeartU**

**Tmionu**

Chapter 25

"So Ginny, did you hear about the Great Ball?" Luna said taking a sip of her pumpkin juice.

"Great Balls...You-Yes, yes you do Luna." Ginny joked and then added when she saw Luna's smirk. "Yeah, I heard some girls talking about it in Romaine's class, pretty useless for me though since I can't take Sirius, but yeah."

"I thought you were mad at him about leaving you alone that night," Luna said with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh I am. That damn dog is going to pay for that, but as for the Ball, well, I need a date and taking a Professor is out of the question." Ginny taking a slow bite out of a biscuit.

"BOOO!" Luna said with a thumbs down sign and her head bowed.

"Are you going with Ron or reconsidering Gerty? Taking the Headmaster isn't a rule." Ginny asked cautiously.

"As much as I love Gertwolf...I just cant do that to Tonks. I'm Ron's girlfriend now so I'm expected to be his date, but, honestly I think he already asked Hermione." She said looking sullen.

"WAIT WHAT! He can't be your boyfriend and go with that, that soul sucking pomegranate!"

"Isn't pomegranate a fruit? That was an excellent insult, who wants to be a fruit anyways? Well, unless you find the opposite sex attractive " Luna said averting the subject.

"LUUNNNAAA YOU CANT POSSI-" Ginny started angrily.

" Morning Luna, Ginny " Ron said as he took a seat and gave Luna a kiss on the cheek.

"WHY YOU-"

" OUGHT to try out for the ballet squad!" Luna intercepted like some sort of football player dressed in tights tackling other men in tights over balls.

"Ballet squad? I...would be GREAT for that ! A couple of years Aunt Myrtle bought me a tut- oh whoa there's Hermion- Harry I meant Harry with Hermione " Ron said taking a quick anxious glance at Luna who seemed to think the frosted flakes were the most interesting thing she'd ever seen but... then again, when it came to Luna that could totally be possible.

"I better go. Enjoy your breakfast guys." Ron stood up, but as he was about to turn away and leave, he awkwardly bent down and gave Luna a sloppy kiss on the lips.

Ginny's eyes immediately found their way to the head table and sure enough there was Remus trying to hide the pain in his eyes but she could always tell with him. He was at this moment caught between werewolf and man. Whether to tear Ron to shreds or stand by and watch. Gertwolf turned his attention to Sirius. Apparently todays reaction was the latter, how lame Ginny thought; I really wanted some blood and guts with my breakfast.

"So...maybe its time I get you a deballing kit for Christmas huh?" Ginny asked, taking a long sip of pumpkin juice after Ron left.

"You have an odd fascination with balls, Ginny Weasley." Luna smiled, cocking her head to the side.

"Mmm...I've been told. So...wanna be my date?"

"PINCHE LESBIANA!" Luna cried out in Spanish and stabbed her egg yolk.

"Thank you..." Ginny said looking at all the faces turned toward her including Sirius with a huge grin on his face. "You just outted me to the entire magical community in Español...beats my idea of walking around with Lady Gaga by my side and singing Glee show tunes."

"Silence your American ways Ginerva, sure I'll be your date, but...you have to wear a tux. If we're in a lesbian relationship, I demand you be the butch."

"I guess that means I'm the pitcher and your the catcher," Ginny said with a raised eyebrow.

"Doesn't that require a penis?"

"Hmmm...not in some countries." Ginny said grabbing a sausage with her fork.

"Wait what?"

HEAD TABLE

Mere seconds after the Ron kiss of brutal Gerty heart destruction.

"Ro...Ron and Luna?" He asked, looking at Sirius who was looking fascinatedly at the tapestry behind them.

"Wha? Are you talking to me? Cause I don't know anything I swear on my mothers grave...If I be lying may Merlin strike you down right now!"

"How long?" Remus said glaring daggers at the other man, as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

" Ughh...When I saw Ginny this morning. After quite possibly the most awesome make up sex. Ever...incredible earth shaking make up sex...Casanova was twisting and turning in his grave I swear."

"That's not gonna throw me off the subject, Sirius."

"Damn...Ok, ok I was meaning to talk to you about it, but Tonks was in your office all day. What was I supposed to do? Charade the gossip to you? 1st word," Sirius said, making a circle with his hand.

"O?"

Sirius looked at his hands "It's supposed to be the moon, shitfart."

"Well in any case I'm...happy? For them. She deserves someone her age."

"Are you forgetting I'm getting married to a girl half my age."

" Half?" Gerty chuckled, "Don't take it the wrong way but you were always the womanizing rebel of the group. Besides...I ...I mean..." He cleared his throat and then sighed.

"Ron and Luna huh...yeah I can see that...they're both a little off sometimes...together they'll be the spaced out version of Fred and George...tweedle dee and tweedle dum if they were stoned out of their minds." Remus said finally in resignation.

"Just because their both grade A crack heads doesn't mean they belong together Moony. I mean think about it...your nickname is Moony, you transform in the light of the moon... Luna ,her name literally means moon man...if that isn't a crazy fucked up fate driven in your face irony then I have no idea what is."

"Lets just drop the subject, she's with Ron and I'm...well I'm fucking engaged."

"Man if you love Luna that's all that matters." Sirius said and rolled his eyes when he noticed Remus had lost focus and was trying to sneak a peak at the girls. "Any way, there are more important matters at hand. Word on the street is Ron already asked Hermione to the dance."

"WHAT! He cant do that...that's stupid. He's with Luna! He can't just not go with his own girlfriend."

"Exactly. That's were you come in...you have to get to her at the Ball. This guy doesn't care about her, he doesn't love her. Is that what you want for her?" Sirius said leaning back in his chair.

"No...but someone else will surely ask her. "

"Yeah...my fiancé actually."

"What? Do you mean Ginny's gonna ask Lu-"

"PINCHE LESBIANA!" Luna cried out.

"Yup. My wife's a butch."

Authors Note- So again sorry for the delay I'll try to update faster and ...hmmm is it weird to beg for reviews...cuz I totally wont be that big of a loser ...I wont really...um

PLZ PLZ PLZ REVIEW I NEED EM LOVIN!I AINT TO PROUD TO BEGG WAHHHHH LOL jk ...really? O.o


	26. Looking good and gay Minisode

Authors Note: Been out of comission but here I am new chappie done lol its short but hopefully you guys will enjoy it yah?

GUYS URGENT HERE: i HAVE MADE FANFICTION FOR THIS STORY THEY ARE FOUND AT

http:/ tcemily . devantart . com

btw the site didnt let me post the account so i put spaces just takethem out when u try to open it :D hope u guys like and if u review I'll post more yeah?lol

Shout out to my wonderful reviewers

Kittyiheart-u

Tminou

Miyugi

Miss Crookshanks

Robotic Urges

and of course the most spectacular beta ever Wildflower082

You guys kick some ass 3

"So...what do you think?"

"You look gorgeous, Luna, don't worry. If Gerty's eyes don't pop straight out of his skull...he didn't have eyes to begin with." Luna stood blushing in front of a 3 way mirror wearing a white baby doll dress with gold ribbon in the middle and matching white ballerina slippers with gold ribbon twisting up her legs.

"Thank you. But...I want to look good for Ron..not...um not Gerty. But...isn't it a bit too subtle for me." Luna said tugging at the ribbon.

"You need to look subtle if your going to be walking next to me" Ginny said coming out of the restroom and leaning against the door. "The name is Weasley...Ginny Weasley, and tonight...Ima make girls go gay."

"Oh My Merlin look positively...Sirius like." Luna said with a hard laugh that ruined the angelic effect of her face.

Ginny smirked and straightened her classic Victorian era suit and gold waistcoat and let a few strands of long hair fall from her slicked red hair in her low ponytail. "I look exactly like Bill in his womanizing years."

"You mean he's not a womanizer now?"

"Bah, as if marriage slowed him down one bit. Then again Fleur looks absolutely demonic when she finds him gallivanting with so called women of the night."

"I heard stories from Charlie that she once dragged him out of a brothel...AND IT WAS A FULL MOON"

"Trust me...not even a full blown Bill werewolf will shut that banshee up, not that I can say it to her face though every time I so much as take a glance I'm about to declare my undying love and give her my virtue."

"As if you have virtue left." Luna chuckled as Ginny tried on a Sirius side smirk face in the mirror.

"It's hard to stay a virgin when you have Sirius Black undressing you with his eyes every five minutes across the family table."

"And yet you had no trouble keeping it intact with Harry, huh?"

Ginny smiled wide and cocked her head. "That man/child didn't even know how to unhook a bra"

Luna laughed out loud at that. "Manchild...oh yes, yes he is."

Ginny smiled at Luna appraisingly, but she felt it slowly slide away as she looked at the other girls eyes. They were glossy with laughter but she could see that underneath there was sadness and rejection.

"Ron should...no wait. Remus should be taking you to the ball Luna. Not me."

"You have a bigger penis." Luna said placing a Gold mask over her eyes and gave a small laugh avoiding the subject.

Ginny looked at her reflection and slid her own mask down. "I...Yea I guess I do."

SIRIUS'S ROOM

"Don't you look dashing, you Marauder, you."

"I look revolting."

"Revolting?That's my best suit you have on, well second best suit. Ginny's currently wearing first place."

"Ginny went through with the tux thing?"

"Yeah...and she went makeup less...she has her brothers boyish charm but...FUCK SHE LOOKED HOT!"

"You know a normal man would feel threatened."

"Theres no shame in admiring beauty Moony, as a matter of fact you're looking quite..."

"Appetizing?"

"I was going to say devilishly debonair...but it might just be my essence in the suit. I emit masculinity like its nobody's fuckin' business"

"Now that you mention it, I do feel I look a tad, what's the word I'm looking for...Oh yeah, GAY!"

"Don't be afraid of the dark side, Remy baby, I see the word in shades of gray."

"Don't you mean rainbow colored?'

"Silence your un-American ways Gertrude!"

Remus shook his head as Sirius brushed a hand through his hair to make it slightly messier but still fitting for a ball.

"Why are you even coming huh? You told Severus you refused to chaperone."

"Of course I'm going what with Ginny looking like that."

"You mean male?"

"Just because you look like a man doesn't mean you wont get hit on...look at Lady Gaga. Or...Marylin Manson."

"Marylin Manson is a man."

"Didn't she have boobs."

"Implants."

"But I...I did horrible things to that picture."

"What now?"

"BABAGANOOSHCOUGH! Lets be off so you can make proclamations of marriage and amazing sex."

"WHA- ! Surely you can't be serious."

"I am Sirius and don't call me Shirley."

Authors note: If you guys want to see something play out review and send me ur ideas and I'll do my best to write them into the story :D


	27. Pink is for Pussies Minisode

Thank you all for waiting, life tends to get in the way of my sheer awesomeness sometimes but alas, I want to at least try to continue so this is a tiny show of my trying…but man do brain farts hurt. Wait wah? Well anyways on to the show….thank you for all the love support and free firewhiskey.

"Ginny I think I should tell you…people are staring." Luna said swirling a champagne glass in her hand.

"Let them stare…watch as women spontaneously combust into orgasmic bliss at the mere sight of my manliness."

"I believe you've forgotten you're a girl again Ginny, should I find you something pink to look at, Neville should be around here somewhere."

"PINK IS FOR PUSSIES!" Ginny said slamming her glass against a nearby table.

"Ay pos fine I don't care." Luna said. Ginny laughed and took a swig of her drink ah yeah there was firewhiskey in this punch, this was going to be a long night.

Luna bounced up and down in excitement laughing at the way Ginny grabbed at her crotch like Michael Jackson at all the passing girls.

"Oh look who just got here!" Luna said pointing at the door.

Ginny whipped around and caught sight of Remus and Sirius as they walked in all the girls immediately torn between them and their homosexual tendencies towards herself.

" Luna fix yourself up woman. WE DANCE" She took Luna by the arm and flung her into a tango while Luna gave a little Whoop.

Remus noticed as all the girls suddenly forgot they were there and jealously stared as Luna and Ginny tangoed across the floor.

"Hey Padfoot where did Ginny learn to tango a man's, part she does it quite well

She does all manly things quite well; you might even require lessons in extreme manliness from my wife one day. "

"You know any other man would feel threatened by such accusations my friend."

Sirius eyes glowered and his canine smirk took a place on his hansome features.

"Threatened ? No…more like …aroused. "

Remus choked up the firewhiskey he was drinking and turned a shade of red as he turned to look at the walking hard on that is Sirius Black only to find he was already gone.

To interrupt a tango.


	28. Spiffy Black Ops

NEW CHAPTERYAY

OKAY FOLLOWERS I officailly chose the band that I listen to when writing this go listen to them : EYESHINE GO SUPPORT THEM ... They= LOve

Thanx for the two awesome reviews and all the viewers who didn't review…I see you in my story stats muahhahahahahaha but still review …and I'll keep writing savvy? Lol XD ON WITH THE SHOW….

Sirius took Luna's hand as Ginny twirled her around and with the strength of a once proclaimed serial killer with naughty and blush worthy intentions sent her flailing through the dance floor and he took Ginny tightly in his arms and dipped.

"You damn dog. This is my night. I'm the boss." Ginny said and interlocking their feet quickly flipped the stance so she was dipping him.

"Hmmm…this is not how I was planning on doing this "Sirius said his hair almost grazing the floor.

"and how exactly did you plan on interrupting my mating dance for all the women here?"

"The only way I know how my dear Watson….with style and flare."

Ginny smiled with bill magnitude and allure.

"Tonight my dear Siri…ima make a proper woman outta you "Siri only barked out a chuckle as she swept him into the songs crescendo.

"Looking forward to that gin …looking forward to it."

Luna wasn't quite sure when exactly it happened but one second she was Ginny's tool for female attention and the next she was dancing with the wind and straight into well.. who other than.. Neville. Who with very weak limbs fell tripped her landing her into ….Dean Thomas who freaked out and ducked at the sight of the flying girl. (Who knows why…its totally common for people to be hurled through the air by sexually perpetuated professors into innocent bystanders) and into the loving arms of ….yes, yes Gertrude, The Hogwarts mad maid who in turn shouted obscenities of obscene proportions into her ear. Remus then walked by and gallantly asked her to dance.

"Your timing is terrible Professor Gertwolf, don't you see these here fine and mighty possible fanfiction reviewers expected you to catch me into your loving arms and declare passionate and undying love for me? "

"Luna-what?"

Luna rolled her lazy eyes…."Oh well, I'll leave the savage and animalistic love making to Ginny and Sirius."

The waltzed around the floor and Luna looked nervously around for any sight of Ron.

"I'm sure he won't mind." Luna's attention snapped back to Remus.

"Why do you say that?" Her gaze fell down to their feet and she noticed how nice he looked in buffed leather shoes.

"Aren't you spiffy tonight Professor."

"I wish you would stop calling me that?"

He stopped dancing and stared at her with solemn eyes.

"Calling you what?"

"Professor….I'm not …you can't…I'm not Sirius."

"What do you-"

"I mean that I'm not like Sirius…I'm not brash enough to be an educator and court a student at the same time. I don't by any means insult or loose respect for my best friend and while I don't entirely condone his actions I stand by him and his decisions but even as kids, I was never the bad boy. "

Luna waited for him to continue and Remus brow furrowed with agitation and amusement.

"Don't look at me like that…"

"Like what."

"Like you know me better than myself Luna."

She smiled and looked at their feet again. Those were some damn spiffy shoes.

"What do you think they're talking about standing there looking all ….crappy love movie with Katherine Higel like?"

"I don't know but he better make a move…I'm tired of laying under the punch table…I should be making mad love to you by now."

"Quiet dog. This is a recon mission of Black Ops proportions. "

Sirius looked out of the scope of his binoculars watching as Remus spoke quietly to the girl. He seemed distressed but still smiling.

"Come on Moony…Ol chap…put the sweet moves on her."

"Luna will make the first move…she's got the balls of bull."

"You want to put some money on that Ginnifer."

" That's not my name you sick bastard next time you call me that I'll rip out your lungs to the sounds of Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run. "

"That's some hardcore boss love Gin Gin but there's no way …I've told you many times Moony's got the help of the most whored out man that ever graced the halls of Hogwarts, and many nights practicing and sexual experimentation that I'm bound my mauderer law not to reveal to any human soul….and or succubus of a soon impeding wife."

" Bollocks you perverted aids filled cretin." Ginny called out concentrating hard on the image of the two infront of them.

"SIRIUS get your hand off my arse."

The man in question turned to look at Ginny…" I'm….I'm not touching your ass."

"Then who…."

Both turned to look down at her bottom and straight into the eyes of one of aragogs youngest spawn….

"Ginny what ever you do don't …make a sound…."

"B…B…! "

On an unrelated note the mac and cheese I ate today was… well let me reference 300 for a second if you will.

THIS….IS….SSSSSCRUMPTIOUS!

AND THEY ARE EYESHINE!


	29. Comfort and Molestation Over Door Locks

Author's Note: Behold…I have a new chapter! This goes out to my fans and loved ones ..those being my loved ones. BTW! I HAVE A CONTEST FOR YOU GUYS!

To enter all you have to do is leave a review with your name, even if it's anonymous and I'll incorporate you into the next chapter with your pick of interaction with Sirius, Remus aka Gerty, Luna, or Ginny! SO DOEZ IT! And I can make them A. flirt shamelessly, B. Have a sexual innuendo with you :P cuz you knw u want to ….or C. …..something else….that isn't that crazy …or maybe yeah lol XD GO GO GO! – BUT! You have to get this question right. In what movie do they say

" THE DOOR LOCKS !"

Non Beta :{ cant get ahold of my Canada.

CHAPTER 29 : Comfort and Molestation Over Door Locks.

"Luuuunnnaaa wake up your being lazzyy!"

Luna blinked a couple of times…" Ginny I think the gnarkles are eating my brain again."

"No no no…you just have a small case of severe brain damage. Nothing to worry about. You see there was this spider and it was like….well it was a freaky eight legged creature spawned from the very depths of hell, more like a chutulu than anything else I tell you and then there was the black ops recon and the Sirius pervertedness and the kiss that I bet 30 gold on…by the way who kissed who….TELL ME!" Ginny said shaking Luna off the bed.

"It was a tie"

"DAMN YOU EQUAL OPERTUNITY LOVERS! " Ginny cried out in severe despair.

"What am I going to do Ginny, did Ron see?"

"Ron was too buys ogling at Hermione like a man depraved of his right hand. " Ginny responded glancing at the wall in boredom now that her bet was lost.

"Why do you even care Lun….you got some werewolf action, there is no need for ginger love at this point."

"He's getting married, I refuse to be the one who breaks them up."

Luna looked down at her bandaged hands and felt a knot tighten severely at the thought of Remus and Tonks.

"Why couldn't she just be a bitch" Luna smiled and felt a tear form and she cringed to stop it from falling.

Ginny's arms enveloped her and she smelt the cherry blossom scent interlaced in her hair.

"It's Remus's job to let go of Tonks." Ginny whispered still hugging her.

Luna nodded softly.

Ginny smiled into the other girls hair and gave a tiny laugh." No homo."

"So you see when a girl decides to throw firewhiskey at you it only makes sense to perceive that as a sign of interest and sexual desire for the man in question" Sirius explained surrounded by plenty a-horny teenage boys. "A human mating call if you will."

"Sirius this isn't what you're honestly teaching in Defense against the dark arts, I mean really? "Remus said entering the classroom instantly causing a scrambling of parchment ink and pens into book bags… I'll have you know from my personal experience there is nothing more god forsaken and frightening that a woman."

Remus looked at the boys and they all sprouted from their chairs with grins on their faces.

"GOODBYE SENSEI- WE MEAN PROFESSOR!"

Sirius stretched out on his chair feet up on his desk. " Whats got you so happy…?"

"You just won me 30 gold coins Moony, thanks to that grand kiss and all….you stylish devil you."

Remus dodged the subject and said. "You know I didn't hire you to corrupt our youth right?"

"Nope you hired me to sit here look pretty and have you molest me with those big doe eyes of yours."

"Soooo I'm guessing your not too happy about the whole Luna buissness I take it." Sirius said with a crooked grin as he balanced on the hind legs of his chair.

Remus ran his hands through his hair sat down and lay his head down. " Ok, I give up…oh wise all knowing womanizer….what should I do."

"I knew some day you would see things my way" Sirius barked out.


	30. Banshee Supersonic Blue Color Alpacas

Bare Proposal Ch 30

Banshee Supersonic Blue Colors

"Tonks, is going to kill me."

"Better of dead than with the wrong woman, trust me."

"Whatever Padfoot, you still haven't told Ginny about Celest."

"SHHHH….dont say that name out loud, she'll find me."

"She doesn't have a Sirius radar, you sick dog."

"No, she's got banshee supersonic hearing."

"Nooo, you've got a severe case of ex-fiancé paranoia."

"SHHH!" Sirius growled from underneath his desk. "If Ginny ever catches wind of this she'll tear me scrotum sac by scrotum sac"

"How many do you have?" Remus joked reclining against one of the students chairs.

"Oh sure laugh at me, at least Celest is my EX-fiancé, Tonks is still in your immediate future old pal."

"Way to rub it in" Remus ran his hands down his face. "SHIIIIITTT! How do I fix this?"

"Moony just take one of my plentiful sacs of scrotum and go declare yourself a bachelor. Be a man of dignity, a male aficionado, a visionary. Be an Apollo of massive proportions be…."

"Ginny?"

"Hey Gertie! Sirius why are you cowering underneath your desk?" Ginny said, walking in and lowering herself to the now cowering man's line of sight.

"Just checking if there's any pixie dust?"

Ginny gazed oddly at him, "SUUUURREEE. I'll let this slide for now"

"You don't seem to be thinking of a calm blue sort of color are you Ginny"

"What do u mean Gert?"

"You know a certains shade of blue."

Ginny put on a thoughtful face and stuck her tounge out as if hard at thought.

"Um…Indigo…."

"Moony" Sirius cried meekly from his hiding place.

"No"

"Cerulean…"

"Moony!"

"Cele-"

"IM GAY GINNY! SOOO GAY! MOONY AND I ARE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER! IN FACT WE'VE DECIDED TO ELOPE, MOVE TO THE MOUNTAINS AND RAISE A HEARD OF WILD ALPACAS."

"You cant raise wild alpacas…that defeats the purpose."

..Ashley is typing ...Write a reply...

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	31. Right Ideas For Homosexuals

"Ok I'm going to walk out of this office with no more knowledge of the completely homosexual and possibly human centipede like things " Ginny air quoted " that have thus far been performed in this god forsaken office…."

She smiled at Remus and leaned down to kiss Sirius on the forehead.

"Well I'm off to do my own homosexual things with Luna…."With a snap of her head she turned to Remus.

"You know Luna right Gertie…super cute…adorable…incredibly brilliant and …"

Remus pinched his nose…"bias little beast aren't you"

"Bi well of course…bias well that goes without saying." Ginny turned around and headed out of the office.

"I thought I was dead for sure…I just thought to myself she's going to walk in here and BAM I'm gone …..Like Snape's libido." Sirius scoffed crawling out from under his desk.

"You should talk to Tonks though…I mean when are you gonna break it to her when she gives you her next of kin?"

Remus glared and the older men shaking his hair around much like a wet dog.

"You have gall don't you didn't you leave Celest at the altar." Sirius grimaced.

"She was so fussy."

"Which went well at the beginning when that was in the sack?" Remus joked only to have Sirius practically shove his hand in his mouth.

"SHHHHHHHH SHHH SHHH SHHH! Are you trying to have me killed….or much worse….NUDERED!"

"Hey well if we're all going to get those skeletons out of the broom closet don't you think Ginny deserves to know that you were pretty much married once. "

"Pshhh….no. "Sirius scoffed. " Ugh Merlin's Beard! Fine, fine…maybe…" Remus chuckled and fixed his tie for the first time noticing that in the time spent here their clothes were rumpled and their hair mussed.

"If we walk out of here people are really going to get the wrong idea."

"Oh please, mooney…it's always been the right idea."


	32. Wrong Show Scenario

"I think Gertie and that damn dog are hiding something Luna" Ginny said pacing the Gryffindor common room.

Luna sat on the couch upside down hair skimming the floor watching her toes tap to some phantom rhythm.

"Well it has been pretty eventful for all of us….its as if the kind and amazingly wonderful writer is just being cruel and unbecoming to us…"

"What a bitch." Ginny cried.

"Oh I wouldn't call her that she's got a job now you know."

"Luna what are you on about I was talking about Sirius."

"ooooohhh righhhhht " Luna winked.

"Well in that case maybe its time we take out our old Sherlock Holmes gear."

Luna looked up at Ginny who was dressed in a trench coat with a hat and pipe.

."One step ahead of you Watson."

Ginny looked down at Luna who was now standing with her own over coat a bowler hat and cane in hand…

"Yes Doctor"

"That's the wrong show Luna"


End file.
